( as she sent off that text, she began to clean up her place a bit and set her new pet rat up in his cage just in case gorgug was scared of rats.
when she heard the three knocks, she opened up the door wearing sweats this time instead of her usual getup. although what she was about to discuss was rather serious, she did have a bright smile to her face when she finally opened up the door. )
Oh hey, perfect. Come on in, I have some other stuff too like drinks and chips.
[ So he says, giving her a smile right back. He'll walk in once she invites him in, amused by the idea of throwing chips in on the pile. But why not? Gorgug's got a big stomach, it won't complain about the food.
He's a polite boy, he'll walk whichever way Heather tells him to. Asking, at least: ] Are we eating from the tub, or from bowls?
( once they were both inside and the door was closed, heather waved her hand towards the couch inside. nearby it was a small cage she had found that held her friend who seemed intrigued by gorgug.
for now though, she's already heading off to the kitchen to grab a few things for them [including the bowls and spoons]. )
I'm getting bowls, chips, and water for us-
( and soon enough, balancing all items on her hands, she's back to place everything on-top of the makeshift coffee table she made. a flat piece of wood and bricks right under it. fitting for a carefree teen like her. )
Thanks for coming on such short notice, I guess it just felt weird spilling my heart out over text you know?
[ Gorgug walks to the couch, with the plan that he's going to put the tub of ice cream on the coffee table so that he can get the bottle of sauces out. That's the plan, but Gorgug catches sight of the little critter and--stops. Stares at it. Questioning internally where it came from, and thinking about Tatianna, but also--maybe it's Heather's pet from home? Maybe it was from the streets of Etraya?
...
He's not going to ask. He is not going to say anything. He will only squint at it briefly (in a very I'm watching you way) before resuming his actions, only delayed by a few seconds. Once Heather comes over, the makeshift coffee table is stuffed with sugar and bowls. ]
It's okay. I wasn't doing anything since I was texting you. [ And texting Heather is a good enough distraction on its own. He's sat now on the couch--not leaning back yet, since he plans to help Heather with the table goods. ] Do we start with sugar first, or salt? ...should we get weird and dip a chip into the ice cream? I think this is the kind of conversation where we need to get freaky with our food.
[ It's likely serious, what Heather wants to talk to him about, and Gorgug isn't taking that lightly. But maybe him being a goofball can help cheer up Heather some before she gets into it.
( by this point, he had done more than enough to help keep her spirits up and away from the painful reminders of the past. in addition to some new goals [such as building a shrine/memorial for her father], she was far from the pain now. yet when she thought about it, she hadn't quite told anyone about her past-
the only person who knew the full extent of her history was vincent, and he was the one who had brought her down in the first place. rosie, maria, and james vaguely knew about her, but she hadn't felt strong enough to fully confide in them. it was with gorgug that she decided she was going to be fully honest with. )
You call that weird? I call that having a normal snack session!
( as they set up things and begin to fill the bowls with ice cream, she moves about in a circle or two around the makeshift coffee table [her rat friend in turn does the same in his cage, mimicking her]. )
But yeah, it's a lot....if you're okay with it, I'm actually going to start from the beginning, the very beginning. Do you promise to keep it a secret? You can't tell anyone.
[ Behold Gorgug's ice cream bowl then, with a few chips on the side that hopefully just won't get wet and gross before he can try this normal snack concoction. Gorgug's finally sitting more comfortable as he has his bowl, watching Heather, and only starting already on the ice cream as far as licking off his spoon gets him. ]
I promise. [ A pause, and- ] I won't even tell Riz or Fabian. And I tell them everything.
[ Sorta, kinda. But as long as Heather knows his relationship to them well enough, she should know that it pretty much means it's a safe promise.
And he'd only go against it with her permission--if this is the kind of conversation where Heather might need help. ]
( once heather's bowl was topped with the ice cream and a mixture of chocolate, caramel sauce, she sat down and pulled the bag of chips in her direction. opting to use a few as a spoon to scoop up the ice cream, she took a few bites before preparing herself to start speaking. )
Well I guess I should be careful about what I tell you in the future.
( a joke, but she does seem to start turning a bit more serious. she isn't sure how to go about this, so the easiest thing is to admit something she wasn't quite hiding but perhaps gorgug didn't know. )
Part of the reason why I was hesitant in revealing too much about my world to Tatianna is because I'm also from the same world as Vincent, I'm sure you've ran into him. In fact...we know each other far too well.
[ Gorgug nods in reference to be careful about what I tell you, the look that he gives far too serious, but so much that it's clear that he's joking. But his features ease up as Heather's own mood changes, and he's taking careful, small bites of his ice cream as he waits on her to speak. ]
...is that the old human guy with glasses? The one who did the tarots on the network? [ He recognised him from his voice.... ] I saw him trying to push a fridge to a creepy castle that he invited me to check out.
[ And there's the first time that he met him, too, but his interaction with the old guy wasn't enough to leave too big an impression on Gorgug.
Except that interaction with the fridge. That was odd. ]
( that little remark bout vincent nearly made her snort up in laughter- instead mr. cheese squeaks at the perfect time within his cage. )
That sounds right, I don't really keep tabs on him these days so I'm not really sure what he's up to....but...
( as she took another bite of her ice cream coated chip, she made a small face of curiosity. just how was she going to explain to gorgug that he was a member of a cult that had basically ruined her life, but that she didn't outright hate him? )
I know this is hard to believe but basically I was born into a cult many years ago...more than two decades ago. I was born to a woman named Dahlia Gillespie and she was a member of this cult where Vincent and this other woman Claudia were born into.
I want to preface by saying I don't hate Vincent for his association with it, but he's an important part of this story.
[ Gorgug's sitting, facing Heather, eating slowly at his ice cream. He's had a run-in with a cult before, but nothing personal enough for the information to get a reaction out of him. Instead he's curious about where this will go, and how this Vincent guy is going to be integral. ]
Okay...
[ He says that to show that he's listening, not even voicing it in a way that asks Heather to proceed. She can do that in her own time.
(And it's not that he didn't clock the two decades part, but he's also not sure if they know the same kind of decade? He'll ask later. He won't forget!!) ]
( it was a long and difficult story with far too many complex parts, and far too much trauma. so unfortunately for gorgug he was going to get the abridged version of things. still it was far more than she had told anyone else [with the exception being maria].
with a soft sigh, she made herself comfortable on the couch, kicking off her slippers and curling up with the bowl still in hand. )
Basically at the time I was called Alessa Gillespie and I had super natural powers....it was something the cult sought to use to give birth to their God. My father, Harry Mason, he isn't my biological dad but he saved me. Unfortunately it meant he became a target for the cult.
[ That's what Gorgug first says--or sounds. His eyes are wide looking at her, intrigued by this story. And there's a lot of parts to it already, like--supernatural powers? Giving birth to Gods? ]
Were you on the run from the cult? Was it a big cult?
[ How big can cults get? Then again, the one connected to Kristen's old faith was kinda a handful, huh... ]
( she paused for a moment, wondering just how to go about explaining the next part. heather took another scoop of her chip and ate it, deciding it was best to just condense it down-
he didn't need to know this was technically her third body after all. )
It was a pretty big cult at the time, almost the entire town was starting to be in on it. However at that time I wasn't on the run, because I....my mother, that woman Dahlia had kept me hostage by hurting me to the point where I couldn't move my body. All those years recovering from that incident led to the town becoming haunted by this force called the 'other world' and it brought Harry Mason to the town.
He ended up helping me and dismantling a large part of the cult but as a result of all that chaos...I died and was reborn as the person sitting before you.
[ It sounds big, right? Bigger than Gorgug can imagine, and he can tell he's getting a simplified version of events. What exactly this other world is, what the cult were doing. And what did keeping Heather captive to the point that she couldn't move her body achieve?
But more importantly is what Heather is saying she suffered. Blatantly and the implications there: dying, a lack of bodily autonomy, and an unloving mother. Not giving, at least, the kind of love a child should receive. ]
I'm sorry that happened to you, [ Gorgug says eventually; his voice slow, words soft. ] It sounds like a lot. We had trouble with a cult in my town too, but... it wasn't like that. And dying really sucks.
I can't say I'm very faithful or full of belief these days....
( her own voice in turn softens, but she's not quite sad about the whole thing as one might expect. she's had time to process the things heather was reminded of, and frankly that part of her life died the day alessa did. sometimes she would come back and flood her mind with memories, but heather stood firm in the belief that they were the same person despite what vincent might suggest.
as her ice cream began to soften, she began to eat more from it before moving on. )
But I got lucky, my father, Harry saved me and raised me as his own. It was the first time I wasn't being hurt or used...he was a great man. A really...really great man. Unfortunately though the cult still thought I could be of use to them so this lady, Claudia, the new leader, came looking for us.
[ Gorgug nods, having an inkling of where this is going with knowing that Heather's father is dead. But he doesn't want to make her jump in her story, wanting her to go at her own pace.
So instead, he remarks: ] Was there something about you and this god...? I know you said you had supernatural powers... but were you marked, or something? Like a prophesised figure...?
[ Surprisingly, he has a little know about cult and religion... solely through interactions with a cult. Despite also forgetting half of the details about that, too. ]
( that was a good question, and frankly she didn't want to get into the gory details of it to spare him, and herself of the pain. )
That woman...Dahlia had never seen anyone with powers. Being born to her, already a member and leader of the cult, made her position within The Order even stronger. So she decided I would be the perfect vessel....she made sure I believed too, by any means necessary.
( from being physically beaten by her into submission, to being bullied at school for being different, it was a painful era for her. silently, she set the bowl of ice cream down, now nearly empty and curled herself up on the couch, almost protectively. )
But by the time I was reborn as who I am now, she was far gone. The only ones that remained were those obsessed with bringing forth God. Vincent he...he saw it all go down and did nothing. He knew Claudia wanted to hunt my father and I down, and kill him so that I became angry again....became ripe and prime to give birth to their God again.
[ So it was a power trip, sorta. It explained why they wanted her originally (she was there, she had powers, and so it made sense), but not later on--why they had her and her dad fleeing them when they could've tried finding someone like her elsewhere.
Unless they were easy to find? Gorgug doesn't think about it too hard, since the story continues, and his brow is furrowed more of the happenings: how making Heather angry primes her for this birth? ]
Was it a god of anger...?
[ He could comment on her father. He will, but-- he feels like Heather might have more to say, especially since it sounded like something happened at the party. So he's leaving any real deep questioning, any comforting words, until it seems like Heather's finally done. ]
You're kinda right, but it was more like Dahlia and Claudia believed that a God born of anger and despair was the best approach to things. A God born of love...they didn't like the sound of that.
( and this is where whatever questions gorgug had about her father, would be answered. )
So Claudia had to make me angry, to try again. She sent a few remaining cult members to attack my father while I was out, for the sake of making me full of rage and despair. I...I threw the party because Vincent reached out to me to talk about his murder.
Gorgug reaches out, tentatively at first, but then committing and putting a hand on Heather's arm in a comforting gesture. It all clicks together, but there had even been an added purpose to the murder--a shitty decision regardless of reasoning. Maybe even more shitty, all things considered. ]
( the touch was a comforting sensation among the stress she began to feel from reliving her past. the details omitted, the depth of her suffering were all touched upon only at a surface level. she knew if she went further into it, it would bring her back to that dark time.
so she opted to focus on the real reason she was feeling down and the reason why she threw the party in the first place. )
Well no surprise, he's actually against God being born as he believes it should be in her own time, not that I care about any of that-
What he wanted to talk about was two things. One, to give me a seal to prevent myself from being used as a vessel ( again, she's going easy on the details. ) and for some reason tell me that if he could, he would go back in time to stop the murder of my father.
That just meant...he knew it was happening and he confirmed it. It put me in a pretty shitty mood to be honest.
[ Gorgug's nose wrinkles as he hears about Vincent's apparent plan--or if he could, but still, it leaves the same question in Gorgug's head.
He doesn't know the guy that well, and doesn't have much of an opinion on him--even now, he's not sure what to think, but- ]
Why do you think he said that? About your dad--do you believe him?
[ Is he something more than just some guy? Because he sounds like either that, or like he's up to something. Does he feel bad now, despite not caring to try and stop it before? If he did or didn't.
It doesn't make sense. Unless he knows something. ]
( by now the remaining ice cream in her bowl had melted just a bit, and her pet/friend had fallen asleep due to the lack of attention. she was still curled up on the couch but as gorgug spoke, she began to rock back and forth gently. a nervous habit, but she hadn't quite realized she was doing it.
it wasn't until he finished asking her those questions that she turned her focus on him fully. with a soft sigh she began to move her head side to side a bit in addition to the rocking. nervous, nervous habits. )
I don't know....I always got the vibe that he hated my dad. He used to get annoyed and even angry if I spoke positively about my dad. Maybe this place is making him less jaded or something but...
it's strange...he seems to not hate me as much anymore? I'm not sure at all what his angle is.
[ There's definitely softened ice cream in Gorgug's own bowl, the sweet treat secondary to Heather's story, to the girl herself. He sees her fidgeting, but he's not one to stop her--this is a difficult conversation. And this topic isn't easy emotionally, or understanding what's going on.
Gorgug listens, and he's still frowning, following her thoughts. ]
...he could be feeling out of his element. If all he's got is you as someone from the same world as him, and he's got none of his position that he had back home, or anything to fall back on...
[ That's one angle. Or- ]
...or he's thinking bigger? [ He looked away while thinking, but looks back at Heather. ] Did people believe in other universes where you're from? There's more people with magic here, there's more gods-- what do you think the kind of person he is? Do you think he's smart?
[ He's a guy who didn't care about Heather's life getting screwed over, but didn't want the god getting born early-- but what kind of role did he have? What kind of guy is he?
Does he actually know anything about finance, even? ]
( and gorgug was probably right about feeling out of his element. she can't claim to speak for him or know all of his motivations, but based on the conversations they had in silent hill, there was one thing she knew for certain. )
Manipulative and almost like a child at times in the way he behaves. I've told him as such, that he remind me of how a child lashes out when angry or distressed.
( simply comparing him to the current leader of the cult, claudia made him yell at her. )
I think he's smart enough to realize when to push and when to pull, in regards to our conversations. He seems to know enough to have made something of himself outside of the cult, but he still went back to it in the end. I guess...I feel sorry for him more than anything.
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( as she sent off that text, she began to clean up her place a bit and set her new pet rat up in his cage just in case gorgug was scared of rats.
when she heard the three knocks, she opened up the door wearing sweats this time instead of her usual getup. although what she was about to discuss was rather serious, she did have a bright smile to her face when she finally opened up the door. )
Oh hey, perfect. Come on in, I have some other stuff too like drinks and chips.
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[ So he says, giving her a smile right back. He'll walk in once she invites him in, amused by the idea of throwing chips in on the pile. But why not? Gorgug's got a big stomach, it won't complain about the food.
He's a polite boy, he'll walk whichever way Heather tells him to. Asking, at least: ] Are we eating from the tub, or from bowls?
[ What kind of ice cream situation is this? ]
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for now though, she's already heading off to the kitchen to grab a few things for them [including the bowls and spoons]. )
I'm getting bowls, chips, and water for us-
( and soon enough, balancing all items on her hands, she's back to place everything on-top of the makeshift coffee table she made. a flat piece of wood and bricks right under it. fitting for a carefree teen like her. )
Thanks for coming on such short notice, I guess it just felt weird spilling my heart out over text you know?
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...
He's not going to ask. He is not going to say anything. He will only squint at it briefly (in a very I'm watching you way) before resuming his actions, only delayed by a few seconds. Once Heather comes over, the makeshift coffee table is stuffed with sugar and bowls. ]
It's okay. I wasn't doing anything since I was texting you. [ And texting Heather is a good enough distraction on its own. He's sat now on the couch--not leaning back yet, since he plans to help Heather with the table goods. ] Do we start with sugar first, or salt? ...should we get weird and dip a chip into the ice cream? I think this is the kind of conversation where we need to get freaky with our food.
[ It's likely serious, what Heather wants to talk to him about, and Gorgug isn't taking that lightly. But maybe him being a goofball can help cheer up Heather some before she gets into it.
He will dip chips into ice cream. For her. ]
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the only person who knew the full extent of her history was vincent, and he was the one who had brought her down in the first place. rosie, maria, and james vaguely knew about her, but she hadn't felt strong enough to fully confide in them. it was with gorgug that she decided she was going to be fully honest with. )
You call that weird? I call that having a normal snack session!
( as they set up things and begin to fill the bowls with ice cream, she moves about in a circle or two around the makeshift coffee table [her rat friend in turn does the same in his cage, mimicking her]. )
But yeah, it's a lot....if you're okay with it, I'm actually going to start from the beginning, the very beginning. Do you promise to keep it a secret? You can't tell anyone.
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I promise. [ A pause, and- ] I won't even tell Riz or Fabian. And I tell them everything.
[ Sorta, kinda. But as long as Heather knows his relationship to them well enough, she should know that it pretty much means it's a safe promise.
And he'd only go against it with her permission--if this is the kind of conversation where Heather might need help. ]
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Well I guess I should be careful about what I tell you in the future.
( a joke, but she does seem to start turning a bit more serious. she isn't sure how to go about this, so the easiest thing is to admit something she wasn't quite hiding but perhaps gorgug didn't know. )
Part of the reason why I was hesitant in revealing too much about my world to Tatianna is because I'm also from the same world as Vincent, I'm sure you've ran into him. In fact...we know each other far too well.
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...is that the old human guy with glasses? The one who did the tarots on the network? [ He recognised him from his voice.... ] I saw him trying to push a fridge to a creepy castle that he invited me to check out.
[ And there's the first time that he met him, too, but his interaction with the old guy wasn't enough to leave too big an impression on Gorgug.
Except that interaction with the fridge. That was odd. ]
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That sounds right, I don't really keep tabs on him these days so I'm not really sure what he's up to....but...
( as she took another bite of her ice cream coated chip, she made a small face of curiosity. just how was she going to explain to gorgug that he was a member of a cult that had basically ruined her life, but that she didn't outright hate him? )
I know this is hard to believe but basically I was born into a cult many years ago...more than two decades ago. I was born to a woman named Dahlia Gillespie and she was a member of this cult where Vincent and this other woman Claudia were born into.
I want to preface by saying I don't hate Vincent for his association with it, but he's an important part of this story.
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Okay...
[ He says that to show that he's listening, not even voicing it in a way that asks Heather to proceed. She can do that in her own time.
(And it's not that he didn't clock the two decades part, but he's also not sure if they know the same kind of decade? He'll ask later. He won't forget!!) ]
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with a soft sigh, she made herself comfortable on the couch, kicking off her slippers and curling up with the bowl still in hand. )
Basically at the time I was called Alessa Gillespie and I had super natural powers....it was something the cult sought to use to give birth to their God. My father, Harry Mason, he isn't my biological dad but he saved me. Unfortunately it meant he became a target for the cult.
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[ That's what Gorgug first says--or sounds. His eyes are wide looking at her, intrigued by this story. And there's a lot of parts to it already, like--supernatural powers? Giving birth to Gods? ]
Were you on the run from the cult? Was it a big cult?
[ How big can cults get? Then again, the one connected to Kristen's old faith was kinda a handful, huh... ]
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he didn't need to know this was technically her third body after all. )
It was a pretty big cult at the time, almost the entire town was starting to be in on it. However at that time I wasn't on the run, because I....my mother, that woman Dahlia had kept me hostage by hurting me to the point where I couldn't move my body. All those years recovering from that incident led to the town becoming haunted by this force called the 'other world' and it brought Harry Mason to the town.
He ended up helping me and dismantling a large part of the cult but as a result of all that chaos...I died and was reborn as the person sitting before you.
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But more importantly is what Heather is saying she suffered. Blatantly and the implications there: dying, a lack of bodily autonomy, and an unloving mother. Not giving, at least, the kind of love a child should receive. ]
I'm sorry that happened to you, [ Gorgug says eventually; his voice slow, words soft. ] It sounds like a lot. We had trouble with a cult in my town too, but... it wasn't like that. And dying really sucks.
[ To put it lightly... ]
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( her own voice in turn softens, but she's not quite sad about the whole thing as one might expect. she's had time to process the things heather was reminded of, and frankly that part of her life died the day alessa did. sometimes she would come back and flood her mind with memories, but heather stood firm in the belief that they were the same person despite what vincent might suggest.
as her ice cream began to soften, she began to eat more from it before moving on. )
But I got lucky, my father, Harry saved me and raised me as his own. It was the first time I wasn't being hurt or used...he was a great man. A really...really great man. Unfortunately though the cult still thought I could be of use to them so this lady, Claudia, the new leader, came looking for us.
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So instead, he remarks: ] Was there something about you and this god...? I know you said you had supernatural powers... but were you marked, or something? Like a prophesised figure...?
[ Surprisingly, he has a little know about cult and religion... solely through interactions with a cult. Despite also forgetting half of the details about that, too. ]
cw: child abuse, lack of autonomy
That woman...Dahlia had never seen anyone with powers. Being born to her, already a member and leader of the cult, made her position within The Order even stronger. So she decided I would be the perfect vessel....she made sure I believed too, by any means necessary.
( from being physically beaten by her into submission, to being bullied at school for being different, it was a painful era for her. silently, she set the bowl of ice cream down, now nearly empty and curled herself up on the couch, almost protectively. )
But by the time I was reborn as who I am now, she was far gone. The only ones that remained were those obsessed with bringing forth God. Vincent he...he saw it all go down and did nothing. He knew Claudia wanted to hunt my father and I down, and kill him so that I became angry again....became ripe and prime to give birth to their God again.
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Unless they were easy to find? Gorgug doesn't think about it too hard, since the story continues, and his brow is furrowed more of the happenings: how making Heather angry primes her for this birth? ]
Was it a god of anger...?
[ He could comment on her father. He will, but-- he feels like Heather might have more to say, especially since it sounded like something happened at the party. So he's leaving any real deep questioning, any comforting words, until it seems like Heather's finally done. ]
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( and this is where whatever questions gorgug had about her father, would be answered. )
So Claudia had to make me angry, to try again. She sent a few remaining cult members to attack my father while I was out, for the sake of making me full of rage and despair. I...I threw the party because Vincent reached out to me to talk about his murder.
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Gorgug reaches out, tentatively at first, but then committing and putting a hand on Heather's arm in a comforting gesture. It all clicks together, but there had even been an added purpose to the murder--a shitty decision regardless of reasoning. Maybe even more shitty, all things considered. ]
Why did he want to talk to you about it?
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so she opted to focus on the real reason she was feeling down and the reason why she threw the party in the first place. )
Well no surprise, he's actually against God being born as he believes it should be in her own time, not that I care about any of that-
What he wanted to talk about was two things. One, to give me a seal to prevent myself from being used as a vessel ( again, she's going easy on the details. ) and for some reason tell me that if he could, he would go back in time to stop the murder of my father.
That just meant...he knew it was happening and he confirmed it. It put me in a pretty shitty mood to be honest.
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He doesn't know the guy that well, and doesn't have much of an opinion on him--even now, he's not sure what to think, but- ]
Why do you think he said that? About your dad--do you believe him?
[ Is he something more than just some guy? Because he sounds like either that, or like he's up to something. Does he feel bad now, despite not caring to try and stop it before? If he did or didn't.
It doesn't make sense. Unless he knows something. ]
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it wasn't until he finished asking her those questions that she turned her focus on him fully. with a soft sigh she began to move her head side to side a bit in addition to the rocking. nervous, nervous habits. )
I don't know....I always got the vibe that he hated my dad. He used to get annoyed and even angry if I spoke positively about my dad. Maybe this place is making him less jaded or something but...
it's strange...he seems to not hate me as much anymore? I'm not sure at all what his angle is.
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Gorgug listens, and he's still frowning, following her thoughts. ]
...he could be feeling out of his element. If all he's got is you as someone from the same world as him, and he's got none of his position that he had back home, or anything to fall back on...
[ That's one angle. Or- ]
...or he's thinking bigger? [ He looked away while thinking, but looks back at Heather. ] Did people believe in other universes where you're from? There's more people with magic here, there's more gods-- what do you think the kind of person he is? Do you think he's smart?
[ He's a guy who didn't care about Heather's life getting screwed over, but didn't want the god getting born early-- but what kind of role did he have? What kind of guy is he?
Does he actually know anything about finance, even? ]
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( and gorgug was probably right about feeling out of his element. she can't claim to speak for him or know all of his motivations, but based on the conversations they had in silent hill, there was one thing she knew for certain. )
Manipulative and almost like a child at times in the way he behaves. I've told him as such, that he remind me of how a child lashes out when angry or distressed.
( simply comparing him to the current leader of the cult, claudia made him yell at her. )
I think he's smart enough to realize when to push and when to pull, in regards to our conversations. He seems to know enough to have made something of himself outside of the cult, but he still went back to it in the end. I guess...I feel sorry for him more than anything.
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cw: cannibalism mentions
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