( that was an excellent question. as of now, he had convinced her that it was in both their best interest to work together and so far it had worked out.
she didn't want to stir trouble for herself, and while misguided, she did feel he cared about her to some extent. )
As long as he isn't outright hurting me or pissing me off, I'll just work with him as peacefully as I can. He's a victim of that cult just as much as I am, and yeah he isn't the nicest person but...
I saw him die before me back home. Even he deserved better than that.
[ Gorgug wonders, but then--either he's misplacing the level of sympathy Heather has for Vincent, or he isn't. His feelings don't change, but even if they don't, neither does what truly matters: Heather's opinion. Heather's feelings. ]
You're compassionate. [ ... ] And I think you get bigger victim rights. [ A small nod. ] Even if he went through some stuff, too. You went through two lives' worth. That's a lot.
[ Again, he's not even trying to joke. He just thinks Heather gets to be higher on the victim scale. ]
( as she began to uncurl from her spot on the couch, she reached out to touch gorgug's arm gently, giving it a firm but re-assuring squeeze. where there was once sadness and confusion her face, she actually seemed to be....glowing. a positive wave filled up her spirit as she thought long and hard about her suffering and how wallowing in it never did her any good as alessa.
no she was striving to be a better version of herself everyday. )
I don't like to think of myself as a victim. I just....I just want you to know it's okay. If we let ourselves get drowned out by our suffering we just end up not doing much of anything. So I try and look at the bright side of things, and wish for a better future.
[ Gorgug looks at her hand when she touches him, and then looks up at Heather, curious. Listening, but-- he also understands it, he thinks. Well, about focusing on moving forward: that's the part the resonates with him more than giving grace to jerks who'd talk bad about his parents. ]
I get it. [ He has to think a second, but then, rather casually, ] I died one time too, and I had a lot of worries about it, but I think, if I just live my life the way I want to, that's the best thing to do. I want to be happy, and have a good life. With good friends.
[ So even if he woke up tomorrow and it turned out none of it was real, then--at least he tried to be his best self. ]
( well that was a shock and a bit of a wake up call for her. she had spent this entire time venting and possibly off-loading so much onto gorgug without asking him if he was okay or if it was too much.
when she thought about it, she really only knew the surface level things about him. none of the horrors or fears he had. )
You know, we have a lot of ice cream and chips left if you want to share what happened to you too? I mean, I'm here for you just as much as you were for me.
( not that he has to share by any means, it was certainly up to him. )
[ The concern comes at him like a wave--not hard, but it still washes over him, and it feels--wrong, immediately. And immediately, he makes sounds of uncertainty, slowly shaking his head. ]
It wasn't-- there wasn't a big thing to it, like-- [ He's waving his hands, trying to emphasise on the big thing. His head rolls, words pausing, thinking.
Because honestly? It's embarrassing. Parts of it. So, carefully, while still with a somewhat dismissive tone to it: ]
Someone summoned these monsters in the cafeteria on my first day at adventuring school, and I died. That was all. [ That was it. ] Then my principal brought me back, and it was-- he had to kill himself to do it, but me and my friend came back because of it... but other people didn't.
[ He hasn't looked at Heather through describing it, or only with fleeting glances; and he looks at her again, wincing slightly, shrugging, putting on this awkward air. ]
It's been a couple of years. He came back to life too, but- .... yeah.
( she said, a hand over his now to comfort him. she felt the same way about her own situation-
it was an awkward and embarrassing mess that didn't deserve too much of her focus and attention on. if she ruminated on it, looked too distressed by it all, then they would win. so she decided that if gorgug didn't want to put too much emphasis on it, then she wouldn't either. so she got up, taking their bowls and looked at him with a smile and a shrug. )
Well I'm glad you're alive, and they're alive, and I'm sorry for those who aren't. But you're here now, to eat ice cream with me. That's what counts, right?
( well maybe not so much if he missed his world, but at least people from his world were here. she knew that much. )
[ Gorgug doesn't mind sharing about his death. It's all the awkward emotions that can come from it that-- should be nice, and, he does appreciate that Heather cares, but... it also sucks, right? The how of why he died, even if he puts it in very basic terms, it's how he would want to go out even now: trying to protect his friends. Or people. They weren't his friends back then, but he was trying to help them take out the corn monster.
But he is relieved anyway, when she stands up. Gives him that break from having to focus on it too much, when nowadays, it's just embarrassing. It's cringe. He doesn't want to be cringe in front of Heather, he's been cringe enough times at it is! ]
Yeah-- yeah. I wanna eat ice cream with you. [ ... ] Or, we did, so, we can eat ice cream whenever. And we can get told to save our universes, and we can have good times, and then have really bad times.
And if we ever die again, [ because of course he's still going on, putting a hand over his heart!, ] I'll act exactly how you need me to. You know... if you need someone who's used to people dying and coming back.
[ This, too, is Gorgug trying to make a genuine offer. ]
( if there was any noble way to die, it truly would be through protecting a friend or two [something she would come to see soon enough]. for now though all she could focus on was how liberating this exchange had been for her, hoping it had been for him. it was like a large weight got lifted up off her shoulders and she didn't have to shoulder this burden alone.
was it all possibly for not? were vincent's warnings possibly true [that gorgug could just be manipulating her]? she didn't know the answers, but what she did know was that sitting on her couch was someone she now considered herself close to. someone who she had come to care for in such a short amount of time and knew she would do what she could for. so when he finished speaking, trying to get across an offer of helping her, she couldn't help but smile and reach out to give him a light punch on the shoulder. that was her trying to show him affection. )
Thank you Gorgug, but I'd prefer it if you didn't die again. It would make me really sad and I'd miss you, even if you did come back.
[ Really, he doesn't want to die! But when you die, you realise how easily it can happen. That it just does, and that's it. ]
I don't have a death wish, [ he decides to add--just so Heather can be reassured that he's not like that. ] I like living. Sometimes it sounds bad when you talk about dying, but I'm-- I don't try to die. But I get in a lot of fights, so it's sort of... something I'm used to? Happening around me, I mean. And I know it weirds people out to talk about.
[ Talking about casually, but there's a point he's trying to get to, slowly. ] But since you've died, maybe you... get it. If you ever want to talk about it, or what you'd do, or want to do if it came up.
It's not something I want to really think about....or at least I don't think anyone wants to think about. The only thing I can say with confidence is...
( and she's not trying to be dramatic or edgy by any means really. it's just when you've seen the face of death contorted and disfigured before you in the form of a monster who represented past trauma―
well it was hard to truly be afraid of anything anymore. really all of her negative emotions came from the loss of her father. in a way, maybe she was more scared of others dying. )
I'm not scared of dying as I am of losing people I care about. So no more crazy fights for you Gorgug, please?
( her words are more gentle, more teasing than the weight of such heavy words. yet she's being serious― even if it was something he was used to... )
...it's a hard promise to make, not to get into more crazy fights when his idea of the fight that took him out... was less crazy than some of the ones he's had more recent. But that's got to be picking at hairs to fuss over, right? Heather just doesn't want him to die, and that's fair.
So, though it takes him a moment where he clearly looks like he's thinking about it, Gorgug finally nods. ]
I promise to do my best not to die in a crazy fight. [ ... ] You should, too.
Of course, I'm not going around trying to start fights.
( she absolutely did not want to die again or see anyone she cared about die but at the end of the day, somethings were outside of anyone's control.
she would however absolutely promise to avoid picking fights with anyone, unless of course they were threatening anyone she actually deeply cared for. )
Listen, thanks again for coming over and cheering me up. It really means a lot to me and I want you to know I'm here for you too, anytime.
[ Did Gorgug ever start fights? ... He doesn't think he has (or does), but maybe he's more inclined towards them in general than Heather, and they both know it, considering his schooling. But, no crazy fights for either. So long as they don't start them? That was the best either of them could hope for. ]
I know, thanks for that--I like talking, and, even if we can't get into crazy fights, I'm okay talking about anything crazy. Or normal. [ He nods, mainly to himself as he thinks. ] Even gossip. There's a lot of people that come through Etraya.
[ He wrinkles his nose, remembering: ] Like that cannibal guy. [ And now, even frowning. ] He ate my mission dad.
( the words escape her lips in an almost hilarious manner. she truly wasn't someone who enjoyed speaking poorly of others but this was her friend, pal—
a new confidant. so she immediately began to serve them fresh new bowls of ice cream, ready to relish in something other than their own sadness and miserable past. )
That asshole fed us parts of Samil. Can you believe that?
[ Gorgug will take the bowl as soon as it's ready, but for gossip? Oh, he's so on that. ]
Sam, he goes by Sam. He was my mission dad. [ He's pouting, or really frowning--because this is totally the subject for that! ] If he ever shows up again, we're getting him back. As soon as that other annoying guy leaves too, we're bulldozing his house.
Wait which annoying guy, the one who was Hannibal's patient? The one who moved into his house?
( listen, she's all for revenge but to her [when she met him], he just seemed more like a lost soul than an annoyance.
now she's wondering how out of touch she's been with people as of late. )
I mean...what's the plan if you...we get him back?
( once the bowl was ready, she handed it to him and fixed her own— only this time, she took the remaining chips and crushed them in the bag before pouring them onto her bowl. )
Yeah, that guy, [ Gorgug answers, to confirm they're on the same page. He takes the bowl first before continuing to reply, which, you know-- he should probably take a second to think about that answer. Because he's sure he knows what the answer is, but - ]
Well, that's up to Sam. But, uh, I know he wanted to... get him back?
[ Kill him. Pretty sure he wants to kill him. But considering their conversation now, Gorgug watches Heather; a glance taken at her chip-covered ice cream, but more curiosity in what she thinks about payback. In revenge.
Wait, wait you just opened a whole can of worms. How is that guy annoying? He seemed maybe a little lost to me when I spoke to him but...
( well truthfully they hadn't run into each other in sometime and while she cared about the people she ran into, she didn't make it a mission to check up on everyone by any means.
whatever he had been up to was truly a mystery to her. )
Tell me? I want to hear the 'tea'.
( or rather hear gorgug spill it. they'll get back to sam and his ideations for revenge in a moment. )
There isn't a lot of tea, [ Gorgug admits. ] He was just preaching about how burning down the house wouldn't make Sam feel better and if he was going to, he'd have to kill him and his dog 'cause he wouldn't leave. I don't like him.
[ It's very tepid tea--Gorgug just didn't like the sound of his attitude from what he heard of the exchange, being there when Sam spoke to the guy. He got in the way of a house burning and used his dog to get in the way, too!! What an asshole!
Gorgug spoons up some of the ice cream. ]
I would've saved the dog.
[ You know. Just the dog. Let's make this clear he wasn't going to get his dog killed! ]
( was it trauma-bonding? did hannibal and him have some kind of warped relationship? heather wasn't too sure but from what little she learned about the man, he did seem to be in some kind of love-hate relationship with hannibal.
as for her, she found the man to be intense, manipulating and controlling. )
No of course, I mean I would be worried if you didn't. I wonder what his deal is then, do you think he's....waiting for Hannibal to return maybe?
Maybe. I didn't talk to him directly-- I was with Sam when he told him what he was gonna do. [ Or would've done.
Could he guess his motives? Well... ] He didn't blow it up himself, so he's got to like something about that guy. [ ... ] Or he's just weird about a house the guy owned, like he's getting one up on Hannibal now.
[ Why not both? Gorgug takes a big spoonful of the mint ice cream, not thinking about the scoop of it before it disappears in his mouth in one swallow. ]
Some people here just have a kinda vibe about them, right? Like you wouldn't work with them, normally. But you're stuck here trying to save your universe, so you'll get along with them.
( much like gorgug, heather decided now was the time to reflect and wonder on that guy's motivations while actually getting at her ice cream. whatever stress and anxiety she had before regarding the conversation she had with gorgug was now gone—
so at the very least gorgug deserved some credit for that, because this tea was certainly steaming and intrigued her to the point where she truly forgot about her worries. )
I know this is assuming a lot but maybe they were....closer than we ever knew.
( whatever that really meant, but she knew the way some people could and would have strong psychological holds over someone else to the point of driving them to commit crimes. what does bring a curious expression to her face is his next statement. )
I never really thought about it but you're right. It's kinda like school, getting stuck with the nerdy kids or the really weird ones but you just have to suck it up because your grade, or in this case, world, depends on it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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( that was an excellent question. as of now, he had convinced her that it was in both their best interest to work together and so far it had worked out.
she didn't want to stir trouble for herself, and while misguided, she did feel he cared about her to some extent. )
As long as he isn't outright hurting me or pissing me off, I'll just work with him as peacefully as I can. He's a victim of that cult just as much as I am, and yeah he isn't the nicest person but...
I saw him die before me back home. Even he deserved better than that.
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You're compassionate. [ ... ] And I think you get bigger victim rights. [ A small nod. ] Even if he went through some stuff, too. You went through two lives' worth. That's a lot.
[ Again, he's not even trying to joke. He just thinks Heather gets to be higher on the victim scale. ]
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( as she began to uncurl from her spot on the couch, she reached out to touch gorgug's arm gently, giving it a firm but re-assuring squeeze. where there was once sadness and confusion her face, she actually seemed to be....glowing. a positive wave filled up her spirit as she thought long and hard about her suffering and how wallowing in it never did her any good as alessa.
no she was striving to be a better version of herself everyday. )
I don't like to think of myself as a victim. I just....I just want you to know it's okay. If we let ourselves get drowned out by our suffering we just end up not doing much of anything. So I try and look at the bright side of things, and wish for a better future.
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I get it. [ He has to think a second, but then, rather casually, ] I died one time too, and I had a lot of worries about it, but I think, if I just live my life the way I want to, that's the best thing to do. I want to be happy, and have a good life. With good friends.
[ So even if he woke up tomorrow and it turned out none of it was real, then--at least he tried to be his best self. ]
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( well that was a shock and a bit of a wake up call for her. she had spent this entire time venting and possibly off-loading so much onto gorgug without asking him if he was okay or if it was too much.
when she thought about it, she really only knew the surface level things about him. none of the horrors or fears he had. )
You know, we have a lot of ice cream and chips left if you want to share what happened to you too? I mean, I'm here for you just as much as you were for me.
( not that he has to share by any means, it was certainly up to him. )
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It wasn't-- there wasn't a big thing to it, like-- [ He's waving his hands, trying to emphasise on the big thing. His head rolls, words pausing, thinking.
Because honestly? It's embarrassing. Parts of it. So, carefully, while still with a somewhat dismissive tone to it: ]
Someone summoned these monsters in the cafeteria on my first day at adventuring school, and I died. That was all. [ That was it. ] Then my principal brought me back, and it was-- he had to kill himself to do it, but me and my friend came back because of it... but other people didn't.
[ He hasn't looked at Heather through describing it, or only with fleeting glances; and he looks at her again, wincing slightly, shrugging, putting on this awkward air. ]
It's been a couple of years. He came back to life too, but- .... yeah.
[ Awkward! ]
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( she said, a hand over his now to comfort him. she felt the same way about her own situation-
it was an awkward and embarrassing mess that didn't deserve too much of her focus and attention on. if she ruminated on it, looked too distressed by it all, then they would win. so she decided that if gorgug didn't want to put too much emphasis on it, then she wouldn't either. so she got up, taking their bowls and looked at him with a smile and a shrug. )
Well I'm glad you're alive, and they're alive, and I'm sorry for those who aren't. But you're here now, to eat ice cream with me. That's what counts, right?
( well maybe not so much if he missed his world, but at least people from his world were here. she knew that much. )
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But he is relieved anyway, when she stands up. Gives him that break from having to focus on it too much, when nowadays, it's just embarrassing. It's cringe. He doesn't want to be cringe in front of Heather, he's been cringe enough times at it is! ]
Yeah-- yeah. I wanna eat ice cream with you. [ ... ] Or, we did, so, we can eat ice cream whenever. And we can get told to save our universes, and we can have good times, and then have really bad times.
And if we ever die again, [ because of course he's still going on, putting a hand over his heart!, ] I'll act exactly how you need me to. You know... if you need someone who's used to people dying and coming back.
[ This, too, is Gorgug trying to make a genuine offer. ]
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was it all possibly for not? were vincent's warnings possibly true [that gorgug could just be manipulating her]? she didn't know the answers, but what she did know was that sitting on her couch was someone she now considered herself close to. someone who she had come to care for in such a short amount of time and knew she would do what she could for. so when he finished speaking, trying to get across an offer of helping her, she couldn't help but smile and reach out to give him a light punch on the shoulder. that was her trying to show him affection. )
Thank you Gorgug, but I'd prefer it if you didn't die again. It would make me really sad and I'd miss you, even if you did come back.
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[ Really, he doesn't want to die! But when you die, you realise how easily it can happen. That it just does, and that's it. ]
I don't have a death wish, [ he decides to add--just so Heather can be reassured that he's not like that. ] I like living. Sometimes it sounds bad when you talk about dying, but I'm-- I don't try to die. But I get in a lot of fights, so it's sort of... something I'm used to? Happening around me, I mean. And I know it weirds people out to talk about.
[ Talking about casually, but there's a point he's trying to get to, slowly. ] But since you've died, maybe you... get it. If you ever want to talk about it, or what you'd do, or want to do if it came up.
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( and she's not trying to be dramatic or edgy by any means really. it's just when you've seen the face of death contorted and disfigured before you in the form of a monster who represented past trauma―
well it was hard to truly be afraid of anything anymore. really all of her negative emotions came from the loss of her father. in a way, maybe she was more scared of others dying. )
I'm not scared of dying as I am of losing people I care about. So no more crazy fights for you Gorgug, please?
( her words are more gentle, more teasing than the weight of such heavy words. yet she's being serious― even if it was something he was used to... )
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...it's a hard promise to make, not to get into more crazy fights when his idea of the fight that took him out... was less crazy than some of the ones he's had more recent. But that's got to be picking at hairs to fuss over, right? Heather just doesn't want him to die, and that's fair.
So, though it takes him a moment where he clearly looks like he's thinking about it, Gorgug finally nods. ]
I promise to do my best not to die in a crazy fight. [ ... ] You should, too.
[ That's fair, too! ]
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( she absolutely did not want to die again or see anyone she cared about die but at the end of the day, somethings were outside of anyone's control.
she would however absolutely promise to avoid picking fights with anyone, unless of course they were threatening anyone she actually deeply cared for. )
Listen, thanks again for coming over and cheering me up. It really means a lot to me and I want you to know I'm here for you too, anytime.
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I know, thanks for that--I like talking, and, even if we can't get into crazy fights, I'm okay talking about anything crazy. Or normal. [ He nods, mainly to himself as he thinks. ] Even gossip. There's a lot of people that come through Etraya.
[ He wrinkles his nose, remembering: ] Like that cannibal guy. [ And now, even frowning. ] He ate my mission dad.
[ Ugh. ]
cw: cannibalism mentions
( the words escape her lips in an almost hilarious manner. she truly wasn't someone who enjoyed speaking poorly of others but this was her friend, pal—
a new confidant. so she immediately began to serve them fresh new bowls of ice cream, ready to relish in something other than their own sadness and miserable past. )
That asshole fed us parts of Samil. Can you believe that?
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Sam, he goes by Sam. He was my mission dad. [ He's pouting, or really frowning--because this is totally the subject for that! ] If he ever shows up again, we're getting him back. As soon as that other annoying guy leaves too, we're bulldozing his house.
[ Heather, they have plans. ]
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( listen, she's all for revenge but to her [when she met him], he just seemed more like a lost soul than an annoyance.
now she's wondering how out of touch she's been with people as of late. )
I mean...what's the plan if you...we get him back?
( once the bowl was ready, she handed it to him and fixed her own— only this time, she took the remaining chips and crushed them in the bag before pouring them onto her bowl. )
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Well, that's up to Sam. But, uh, I know he wanted to... get him back?
[ Kill him. Pretty sure he wants to kill him. But considering their conversation now, Gorgug watches Heather; a glance taken at her chip-covered ice cream, but more curiosity in what she thinks about payback. In revenge.
Of the murderous kind. ]
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( well truthfully they hadn't run into each other in sometime and while she cared about the people she ran into, she didn't make it a mission to check up on everyone by any means.
whatever he had been up to was truly a mystery to her. )
Tell me? I want to hear the 'tea'.
( or rather hear gorgug spill it. they'll get back to sam and his ideations for revenge in a moment. )
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[ It's very tepid tea--Gorgug just didn't like the sound of his attitude from what he heard of the exchange, being there when Sam spoke to the guy. He got in the way of a house burning and used his dog to get in the way, too!! What an asshole!
Gorgug spoons up some of the ice cream. ]
I would've saved the dog.
[ You know. Just the dog. Let's make this clear he wasn't going to get his dog killed! ]
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( was it trauma-bonding? did hannibal and him have some kind of warped relationship? heather wasn't too sure but from what little she learned about the man, he did seem to be in some kind of love-hate relationship with hannibal.
as for her, she found the man to be intense, manipulating and controlling. )
No of course, I mean I would be worried if you didn't. I wonder what his deal is then, do you think he's....waiting for Hannibal to return maybe?
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Could he guess his motives? Well... ] He didn't blow it up himself, so he's got to like something about that guy. [ ... ] Or he's just weird about a house the guy owned, like he's getting one up on Hannibal now.
[ Why not both? Gorgug takes a big spoonful of the mint ice cream, not thinking about the scoop of it before it disappears in his mouth in one swallow. ]
Some people here just have a kinda vibe about them, right? Like you wouldn't work with them, normally. But you're stuck here trying to save your universe, so you'll get along with them.
[ But not that guy. That guy sucks!! ]
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so at the very least gorgug deserved some credit for that, because this tea was certainly steaming and intrigued her to the point where she truly forgot about her worries. )
I know this is assuming a lot but maybe they were....closer than we ever knew.
( whatever that really meant, but she knew the way some people could and would have strong psychological holds over someone else to the point of driving them to commit crimes. what does bring a curious expression to her face is his next statement. )
I never really thought about it but you're right. It's kinda like school, getting stuck with the nerdy kids or the really weird ones but you just have to suck it up because your grade, or in this case, world, depends on it.