( any other time she would have laughed, teased right back but things were more complicated now more than ever. heather had told him about her world and the cult, so really she should feel comfortable telling him this but....
she also didn't want him to attack claudia for her sake. so she decided to keep names out of it. )
I don't know....I....um that woman who was responsible for my father's death she uh...
she's here now. I'm really not handling this well.
Oh. Well. That's-- got to be a lot. Gorgug thinks that would be a lot for him? Yeah, he thinks it would be, though he has to think for a second about what to say because: oh shit? ]
oh shit. [ it has to be said!! ] do you need someone to hold you back? do you want to get away from the apartments?
you can stay with me and the guys in the boat? are you worried about seeing her?
[ Should he offer to kill her? To be a bodyguard? ? Maybe one thing at a time. ]
( again she's not mad at him or even echo, she's more mad at herself. she wanted to do nothing more than to hurt the woman any way she could, get the revenge she felt she deserved but she couldn't.
she had already spoken to maria and henry about this and the two seemed to guide her more towards forgiveness [with maria suggesting she torture her psychologically for now], and while she knew deep within her claudia was a victim too—
all she could see was red for now. )
I uh....for everyone's safety including hers I should probably get away. won't it be cramped though? me in the boat with you and your friends?
( this time it took her some time to respond. his words were full of kindness, more than she had been expecting and she found herself tearing up all over again. everyone had been so kind to her as of late—
henry, vincent, riz, and vax. it made her realize she had been so selfish, holding back her feelings from others for the sake of being strong and being there for others. as long as she had her friends who handled her like family, she could survive this she was sure.
but still, she needed to keep some distance to avoid her rapturous feelings. )
can I come over now? I should get away, even if temporarily.
okay. i'll come pick you up now. i can help you pack if you need it
[ If he gets there and she's still doing that. All Gorgug knows is that she'll definitely want to take that rat along with her, which, he'll swallow his feelings about having that somewhere so personal if it means making sure Heather's okay. And Heather will be more okay with her rat around, Gorgug's pretty sure.
But he'll start getting ready to get to his van so he can pick her up. Anything else he could say or talk about, he'll leave it for later. If Heather wants to come over now, she can.
He'll just let the guys know while he's on the move that they're getting a roommate. ]
yeah actually I would really appreciate it. if you want snacks I got some good stuff to fuel us while we work but I won't be bringing that much.
( in the meantime she forced herself to crawl out of bed and actually get dressed, her short hair still wet and sticking up from her carelessness with it. she would look a mess but at least she had some strength to push herself up and get moving.
by the time gorgug did arrive, he would find her mostly packed with the exception of a few food items. she looked like hell but she was trying to stay a float to prevent claudia from 'winning'.
[ When Gorgug does arrive, standing in her apartment after knocking and entering, he takes a moment to look at Heather with no real judgment, but there has been something he's thought about on the way.
Never one to not sound awkward, he's still sincere as he says: ]
I think it's really strong to do your best to not murder the person who got your dad killed. And I'll support you.
[ Because could he resist murdering such a person? Probably not. Maybe it has to do with the rage inside him where even the thought of it along the way put him in twitches that his van commented on (or the angel in his van), but he thinks he's got to be hard, even for people with his issues.
But also, probably as important: ] Do you need a hug?
( when the door opened, she was standing in an oversized shirt and pants, a few bags and boxes of her stuff by the door. mr. cheese's cage was nearby, with a few remaining items still needing to be packed. while she was expecting him—
she wasn't expecting such words immediately after opening the door. she remained still for a moment, eyes wide before she simply shook her head. )
It doesn't matter anyways, death isn't permanent here and while I had been wanting to kill her for a long time...she actually died before coming here.
( in between the mess of the the last mission and claudia, she forgot what exactly she told gorgug but she's sure she mentioned the whole 'birthing god' affair. regardless, at his question she simply let out a strained laugh before waving him inside. )
I look that bad huh? Sure I'll take a hug but let's go inside, I don't want Henry to see and get jealous.
( a soft joke given his door didn't have an apartment, and he had asked heather to promise him she would turn to him for things. )
[ There's a 'So?' that's in the back of Gorgug's throat about death here, or even back in the world Heather's from, but he stops himself, since, okay, he's got to go inside? But the name drop of Henry also makes him wonder, though confused, glancing back out at the hallway, but otherwise following Heather inside.
And with the door closed... ]
Is Henry the older guy who looks like he's always out of it?
Well older than us, but yeah. The one that looks like he's walking in a dream.
( she's called him dopey to his face before, she's sure he won't get too miffed over being described as out of it and old.
at least heather didn't say it. )
He's uh....actually from my world too, but don't tell anyone I told you that.
( she made a promise and absolutely did not want vincent to find out. as they went in, she began to lead him into her bedroom, a pile of clothes on her bed waiting to be packed up. the hug would have to wait for now as she wasn't quite in the right headspace to give a proper one. )
[ Huh. Gorgug wonders what Henry being from the same world means, but doesn't give it any thought. Heather's walking, so whatever hug he would have give seems...awkward now, unless he's meant to give her one against her bed?
Too awkward, far too awkward. ]
I can help put them away, [ he offers instead. If they need folding, Gorgug knows how to do that neatly enough, as long as a bag is nearby. Unless Heather just wants to shove them away-- ]
( more like at the end of their packing, at least that was the line of thinking heather was going with. as they stood before the bed, she began to fold up some of the shirts. mostly it was just t-shirts, pants, and a few skirts and socks thankfully. )
I appreciate it, shouldn't take us very long to pack everything up. I uh....
( as she got to work, she turned to look at him briefly. )
Thank you by the way, I wasn't expecting you to come running to my aid. It means a lot to me....you're a good guy.
[ He makes a small sound just to acknowledge her at first, before considering his actions, his reasoning behind them, and recognising: ]
It didn't sound like you wanted to kill them, and if it were me, if someone like that was around, I wouldn't care if they got killed once already, or if they would come back alive. So, it didn't sound like a good idea to be around them? Everyone lives here.
[ Most people live at the apartments, anyway. He's being careful with her clothing, folding them and then letting her place them where and as she wants. ]
There's still a chance you'll bump into them, but... they won't be living near to you? [ A beat. ] Having my dad's co-murderer living near me would piss me off.
[ It still makes him feel itchy on the inside to think about, actually, but he's going to just ignore that. ]
( it was strange how life presented you with options and influences. some of them affirmed and enforced your beliefs, providing support for the ideals you had. others challenged them and made you question if everything you knew was true or not.
upon hearing gorgug's words she understood where he was coming from and why he felt that way. truthfully she still wanted to kill claudia deep down inside but there were far too many factors and people at play. she knew gorgug would understand if she did it, if she indulged in torturing that woman and making her feel every bit of fear her poor father had the day he was killed. he had been sitting in his favorite chair and looked almost peaceful— as if they took him by surprise. she had been ruminating and fantasizing about her revenge since then but now?
she couldn't indulge. so as they folded the clothes and packed them away into a nearby box, she nodded at his words before speaking. )
I can assure you....I absolutely do want to kill her. I want to squeeze the life out of her and make her pay for what she's done but I just can't.
For Henry....for Maria.....for my father. They're all important people to me and knowing what I know now, how much I've grown and changed here in Etraya well....
I'd be sinking down to her level. Besides she's like a child, no— she is a child. She wouldn't learn a thing from it, would just say why I don't believe in her religion.
[ Truthfully, Gorgug hears most of what Heather says and thinks, What the hell does that mean?
'How much I've grown', 'I'd be sinking down to her level'? -- It's bizarre to Gorgug, even absurd. The math equation that Heather seems to be laying out here makes no sense, until she says this person is like a child, and, oh. And it's easier to fixate on that, his voice even shifting, like something dawning on him: ]
What? Is she ten?
[ He looks at her when he says it, because maybe: okay, Gorgug wouldn't rush to kill a ten year old. Or someone younger than him, at a point? He was imagining someone in Heather's age range or older, but the rest, changing or growing or not killing for some random people...
Okay, he might hold back on murder for friends. But he wouldn't talk about it in the same way that Heather is. It's just so-- odd. ]
( she turned to look at gorgug, a bit nervous now. was she not being clear in her words? maybe it was a bit demeaning talking about a grown woman as if she were a child but....
as far as she knew, even vincent saw her the same way [and she had told vincent he was like a child too at times]. )
Trust me, a fully grown adult who can't be reasoned with.
( with a sigh, she tossed some of the already folded clothes into the box leaving them with not much else to pack. )
[ He looks unsure, thinking in that way that his brows furrow, and takes her clarification with the decision that, well, he'd still kill her, personally. ]
You don't normally kill a person to reason with them. [ In Gorgug's experience. But maybe he's just thinking about murdering too much? But not enough to not reach out to the box, seeing as they seem to be done. ] --You want me to take this? You've got to carry-- Cheese, right?
Well in the real world— ( outside of etraya she meant. ) Most people stay dead. We all saw Samil come back to life after his own....tragedy. He was rightfully angry, but if I did that to Claudia....she would still say what she did was right. ( killing her father, she meant. )
Yeah sounds good, let me get his stuff in the van first and I'll get the rest of the stuff around the door.
( as heavy as things were, she wasn't too interested in ruminating for very long on this. she said she had made up her mind but deep down heather knew— if she kept debating it, she might just end up killing that woman.
which is why she took gorgug's offer to leave seriously. )
[ He would've dropped it, if she hadn't bothered to say what she did. But instead of moving to the van, he just stands there, being the one here to ruminate on what she's saying-- her logic. Because it's one thing to want to not kill someone, but the reasons she's giving just rubs him wrong. Confuses him. ]
Sam didn't want to kill that guy to make him change his mind. [ He pauses, just for a second or so. ] Do you want to kill her, or do you wanna hear her say she was wrong?
[ Because that's what Heather seems to keep coming back to: this person not learning their lesson, not understanding what they did wrong. The revenge is secondary, the fulfilment and release--it's about trying to be the better person, or thinking you are, from what Heather's said. Something like that. ]
( by the time they made their way outside of her room, she stood before mr. cheese's cage and thought about what gorgug said. it was a difficult thing for her to mourn the death of her father, be brought to a strange world, and to be confronted by her father's killer. if claudia were some lunatic who did it on a whim, heather could easily kill her. no emotions, no strings, no feelings.
but their history went far back to when she was alessa and she was a child. so as he asked her, the answer became far too obvious. )
I want her to apologize and say what she did was wrong and to understand why. She never even did that when I confronted her during the mission....she just said I would understand someday and that my father took me away from her. So killing her....I guess is no longer my concern if it means nothing. If nothing changes.
[ There's some small hesitation, but Gorgug asks it. There was a past life Heather had, and even if Gorgug didn't know about it, he would probably ask the same thing, or something similar. Why do you care about her feelings?
Because why else would someone care about the other person, even to this degree, to want their understanding? Can you have that about someone you don't know, never met before, had no connection to?
This is a different kind of anger than what he's been imagining. ]
Let's talk about it in the car, or else we'll never end up leaving.
( she sighed a bit, but before she reached out to grab her stuff, she began to walk towards gorgug. once heather was close enough, she gave him a brief, but tight side hug, wrapping her arms around the side of his left arm before she looked up at him. )
Thank you again, seriously. You're a really good guy and I'm glad we're friends.
[ He's willing to do that, at first: go to the van, talk about it there. But when Heather comes over to him and gives him that small hug, perhaps even the words that accompany it-- something in Gorgug deflates. He lets out a breath, gives her a tiny nod with a pinch of a smile on his lips. ]
Me too. [ ... ] We, we don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to. I was kind of confused, but I think I get it now, what you're feeling.
[ It's up to her, he doesn't have to know the details. If he removes all the fluff added to why Heather's holding back on going after this person, it isn't so peculiar.
Either way, he still has the box in his hands. He'll make the trips needed to start getting the van filled up. ]
Well I've already told you everything, might as well tell you this.
( with the embrace coming to an end, she pulled away to pick up the rest of the stuff— including mr. cheese and his stuff— before she stepped out and juggled the keys to her place in her hands. with the door locked up, she followed gorgug towards the van and began to pack away her things with ease.
when they were finally packed up and settled in the car, she sat back with a bit of a wistful expression on her face. the setting was quite familiar to her— she was being driven by the detective hired by claudia to find her to silent hill, while she told him about her past. only this time it was a friend instead of a stranger. )
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cw: murder mentions
( any other time she would have laughed, teased right back but things were more complicated now more than ever. heather had told him about her world and the cult, so really she should feel comfortable telling him this but....
she also didn't want him to attack claudia for her sake. so she decided to keep names out of it. )
I don't know....I....um that woman who was responsible for my father's death she uh...
she's here now. I'm really not handling this well.
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Oh. Well. That's-- got to be a lot. Gorgug thinks that would be a lot for him? Yeah, he thinks it would be, though he has to think for a second about what to say because: oh shit? ]
oh shit. [ it has to be said!! ] do you need someone to hold you back? do you want to get away from the apartments?
you can stay with me and the guys in the boat? are you worried about seeing her?
[ Should he offer to kill her? To be a bodyguard? ? Maybe one thing at a time. ]
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( again she's not mad at him or even echo, she's more mad at herself. she wanted to do nothing more than to hurt the woman any way she could, get the revenge she felt she deserved but she couldn't.
she had already spoken to maria and henry about this and the two seemed to guide her more towards forgiveness [with maria suggesting she torture her psychologically for now], and while she knew deep within her claudia was a victim too—
all she could see was red for now. )
I uh....for everyone's safety including hers I should probably get away. won't it be cramped though? me in the boat with you and your friends?
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[ Maybe he will one day, if he's ever bored enough. For now, 'for her safety' sounds like Heather doesn't want to hurt her, but.... ....unless??
No-- focus! Even if a lot of his friends would be into murder... ]
i can pick you up so you don't have to carry everything onto the trolley. you can come over whenever you're ready
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henry, vincent, riz, and vax. it made her realize she had been so selfish, holding back her feelings from others for the sake of being strong and being there for others. as long as she had her friends who handled her like family, she could survive this she was sure.
but still, she needed to keep some distance to avoid her rapturous feelings. )
can I come over now? I should get away, even if temporarily.
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[ If he gets there and she's still doing that. All Gorgug knows is that she'll definitely want to take that rat along with her, which, he'll swallow his feelings about having that somewhere so personal if it means making sure Heather's okay. And Heather will be more okay with her rat around, Gorgug's pretty sure.
But he'll start getting ready to get to his van so he can pick her up. Anything else he could say or talk about, he'll leave it for later. If Heather wants to come over now, she can.
He'll just let the guys know while he's on the move that they're getting a roommate. ]
take that rat with her lmao 😤😤😤
( in the meantime she forced herself to crawl out of bed and actually get dressed, her short hair still wet and sticking up from her carelessness with it. she would look a mess but at least she had some strength to push herself up and get moving.
by the time gorgug did arrive, he would find her mostly packed with the exception of a few food items. she looked like hell but she was trying to stay a float to prevent claudia from 'winning'.
whatever that meant. )
ONE DAY IT'LL DO SOMETHING WRONG!!!
Never one to not sound awkward, he's still sincere as he says: ]
I think it's really strong to do your best to not murder the person who got your dad killed. And I'll support you.
[ Because could he resist murdering such a person? Probably not. Maybe it has to do with the rage inside him where even the thought of it along the way put him in twitches that his van commented on (or the angel in his van), but he thinks he's got to be hard, even for people with his issues.
But also, probably as important: ] Do you need a hug?
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she wasn't expecting such words immediately after opening the door. she remained still for a moment, eyes wide before she simply shook her head. )
It doesn't matter anyways, death isn't permanent here and while I had been wanting to kill her for a long time...she actually died before coming here.
( in between the mess of the the last mission and claudia, she forgot what exactly she told gorgug but she's sure she mentioned the whole 'birthing god' affair. regardless, at his question she simply let out a strained laugh before waving him inside. )
I look that bad huh? Sure I'll take a hug but let's go inside, I don't want Henry to see and get jealous.
( a soft joke given his door didn't have an apartment, and he had asked heather to promise him she would turn to him for things. )
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And with the door closed... ]
Is Henry the older guy who looks like he's always out of it?
[ Ways to describe Henry Townshend. ]
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( she's called him dopey to his face before, she's sure he won't get too miffed over being described as out of it and old.
at least heather didn't say it. )
He's uh....actually from my world too, but don't tell anyone I told you that.
( she made a promise and absolutely did not want vincent to find out. as they went in, she began to lead him into her bedroom, a pile of clothes on her bed waiting to be packed up. the hug would have to wait for now as she wasn't quite in the right headspace to give a proper one. )
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[ Huh. Gorgug wonders what Henry being from the same world means, but doesn't give it any thought. Heather's walking, so whatever hug he would have give seems...awkward now, unless he's meant to give her one against her bed?
Too awkward, far too awkward. ]
I can help put them away, [ he offers instead. If they need folding, Gorgug knows how to do that neatly enough, as long as a bag is nearby. Unless Heather just wants to shove them away-- ]
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I appreciate it, shouldn't take us very long to pack everything up. I uh....
( as she got to work, she turned to look at him briefly. )
Thank you by the way, I wasn't expecting you to come running to my aid. It means a lot to me....you're a good guy.
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It didn't sound like you wanted to kill them, and if it were me, if someone like that was around, I wouldn't care if they got killed once already, or if they would come back alive. So, it didn't sound like a good idea to be around them? Everyone lives here.
[ Most people live at the apartments, anyway. He's being careful with her clothing, folding them and then letting her place them where and as she wants. ]
There's still a chance you'll bump into them, but... they won't be living near to you? [ A beat. ] Having my dad's co-murderer living near me would piss me off.
[ It still makes him feel itchy on the inside to think about, actually, but he's going to just ignore that. ]
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upon hearing gorgug's words she understood where he was coming from and why he felt that way. truthfully she still wanted to kill claudia deep down inside but there were far too many factors and people at play. she knew gorgug would understand if she did it, if she indulged in torturing that woman and making her feel every bit of fear her poor father had the day he was killed. he had been sitting in his favorite chair and looked almost peaceful— as if they took him by surprise. she had been ruminating and fantasizing about her revenge since then but now?
she couldn't indulge. so as they folded the clothes and packed them away into a nearby box, she nodded at his words before speaking. )
I can assure you....I absolutely do want to kill her. I want to squeeze the life out of her and make her pay for what she's done but I just can't.
For Henry....for Maria.....for my father. They're all important people to me and knowing what I know now, how much I've grown and changed here in Etraya well....
I'd be sinking down to her level. Besides she's like a child, no— she is a child. She wouldn't learn a thing from it, would just say why I don't believe in her religion.
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'How much I've grown', 'I'd be sinking down to her level'? -- It's bizarre to Gorgug, even absurd. The math equation that Heather seems to be laying out here makes no sense, until she says this person is like a child, and, oh. And it's easier to fixate on that, his voice even shifting, like something dawning on him: ]
What? Is she ten?
[ He looks at her when he says it, because maybe: okay, Gorgug wouldn't rush to kill a ten year old. Or someone younger than him, at a point? He was imagining someone in Heather's age range or older, but the rest, changing or growing or not killing for some random people...
Okay, he might hold back on murder for friends. But he wouldn't talk about it in the same way that Heather is. It's just so-- odd. ]
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( she turned to look at gorgug, a bit nervous now. was she not being clear in her words? maybe it was a bit demeaning talking about a grown woman as if she were a child but....
as far as she knew, even vincent saw her the same way [and she had told vincent he was like a child too at times]. )
Trust me, a fully grown adult who can't be reasoned with.
( with a sigh, she tossed some of the already folded clothes into the box leaving them with not much else to pack. )
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You don't normally kill a person to reason with them. [ In Gorgug's experience. But maybe he's just thinking about murdering too much? But not enough to not reach out to the box, seeing as they seem to be done. ] --You want me to take this? You've got to carry-- Cheese, right?
[ Mister... Cheese... ]
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Yeah sounds good, let me get his stuff in the van first and I'll get the rest of the stuff around the door.
( as heavy as things were, she wasn't too interested in ruminating for very long on this. she said she had made up her mind but deep down heather knew— if she kept debating it, she might just end up killing that woman.
which is why she took gorgug's offer to leave seriously. )
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Sam didn't want to kill that guy to make him change his mind. [ He pauses, just for a second or so. ] Do you want to kill her, or do you wanna hear her say she was wrong?
[ Because that's what Heather seems to keep coming back to: this person not learning their lesson, not understanding what they did wrong. The revenge is secondary, the fulfilment and release--it's about trying to be the better person, or thinking you are, from what Heather's said. Something like that. ]
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( by the time they made their way outside of her room, she stood before mr. cheese's cage and thought about what gorgug said. it was a difficult thing for her to mourn the death of her father, be brought to a strange world, and to be confronted by her father's killer. if claudia were some lunatic who did it on a whim, heather could easily kill her. no emotions, no strings, no feelings.
but their history went far back to when she was alessa and she was a child. so as he asked her, the answer became far too obvious. )
I want her to apologize and say what she did was wrong and to understand why. She never even did that when I confronted her during the mission....she just said I would understand someday and that my father took me away from her. So killing her....I guess is no longer my concern if it means nothing. If nothing changes.
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[ There's some small hesitation, but Gorgug asks it. There was a past life Heather had, and even if Gorgug didn't know about it, he would probably ask the same thing, or something similar. Why do you care about her feelings?
Because why else would someone care about the other person, even to this degree, to want their understanding? Can you have that about someone you don't know, never met before, had no connection to?
This is a different kind of anger than what he's been imagining. ]
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( she sighed a bit, but before she reached out to grab her stuff, she began to walk towards gorgug. once heather was close enough, she gave him a brief, but tight side hug, wrapping her arms around the side of his left arm before she looked up at him. )
Thank you again, seriously. You're a really good guy and I'm glad we're friends.
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Me too. [ ... ] We, we don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to. I was kind of confused, but I think I get it now, what you're feeling.
[ It's up to her, he doesn't have to know the details. If he removes all the fluff added to why Heather's holding back on going after this person, it isn't so peculiar.
Either way, he still has the box in his hands. He'll make the trips needed to start getting the van filled up. ]
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( with the embrace coming to an end, she pulled away to pick up the rest of the stuff— including mr. cheese and his stuff— before she stepped out and juggled the keys to her place in her hands. with the door locked up, she followed gorgug towards the van and began to pack away her things with ease.
when they were finally packed up and settled in the car, she sat back with a bit of a wistful expression on her face. the setting was quite familiar to her— she was being driven by the detective hired by claudia to find her to silent hill, while she told him about her past. only this time it was a friend instead of a stranger. )
Alright, let's see this boat.
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cw: topic of murdering,
cw: brief murder mentions
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going to wrap this up here ♥