Feeling down? Need someone to talk to confidentially? Reach out to Heather Mason. Appointments not necessary but appreciated. In person at Robin Deli/Sessions with Heather or over network. Video, text, voice, action accepted.
Someone said I should talk to someone named Mason, and they'd be willing to listen to people's troubles. Somehow, I didn't think it'd be you, but that was an odd thought of mine.
[ Anyway. ]
Okay. [ Um. ] I couldn't leave my apartment for days... and it was locked from the inside... I think the space became part of another reality. And holes appeared in the walls... that led to other worlds... connected to whoever was dreaming those words... I think... but they weren't in control of it...
( she probably forgot to give him her full name, but the username, the name mason was a tribute.
as he spoke, she remained silent listening to the recording and wondering what to make of all this. she was sure he had seen something strange in his world, something that made him want to rip the door out—
[ She sounds more curious than disbelieving, at least. He wonders how it sounds; he isn't sure how it sounds to another person. As insane as it all is, it's what he knows. It's why he didn't bring it up to anyone he met in the other worlds.
But maybe he should have -- he thought he should have; he decided if Eileen survived he would try to explain everything to her; maybe, that'd ensure her safety. But --
-- he shakes his head. ]
It was part of a cult... in an orphanage... just outside of Silent Hill... [ Um. ] I only found a few pages... no, they were given to me... by someone already dead...? I think he was trying to help me... but ...
[ Okay, now he's hearing it. ] ... sorry, this all sounds... yeah...
( each word that came from his mouth felt like it was synchronized with the beating of a drum. the words buzzed and droned in her mind, swallowing her up as she sat in her chair and remained silent. cool beads of sweat began to form at the edges of her forehead and her mouth slightly hanged opened.
even though he truly was intending to just state what was bothering his heart, his mind— it struck far too close to home, far to close to who she was and where she had come from.
when finally apologized, the words were a final beat that snapped her back to reality.
aurora had a sick sense of humor it seemed. )
Henry…..have you been to Silent Hill yourself?
( she will address the rest of his words and thoughts shortly but for now the only things henry could hear was her swallowing and clearing her throat just a bit. )
[Henry feared no matter how many times he told his story, but people would only see the madness of it. He thinks it's crazy, too; he isn't sure why his life became this way. What if he's never believed?
Someone told him that would be isolating; he feels like it is. As isolating as it was in that room, but he's surrounded by people now. Is that worse? He isn't sure...
... he hears her swallowing and clearing her throat; he makes a soft noise in response, at first. It's a sound of apology; he worries if he says he isn't crazy it'll sound like he is. ]
Yeah... I went there... it was a beautiful resort town. I still remember it fondly. [ Ah. That's not quite right. He stumbles over his words more but presses on. ] The sun was shining and it was a lovely day... I'm told that very few people can visit the town and experience the weather I did... I must have been lucky.
( even though the room she was in wasn't cold, she couldn't help but let out a deep and shaky breath as her body began to tremble. in hindsight it shouldn't be a surprise that the town and cult were known to others but the extent of everyone's connection to it here had been different and unique.
vincent was a member of the cult, maria was dreamt up by james in that town, and james had been drawn to it through the mystic powers that drew from her own nightmares during a time when she was alessa.
all of this was too much, far too nerve-wrecking and she wanted to yell out 'henry...I'm so cold' but she couldn't. no...all she could do was think about how someone like james had been brought here, spilled what little he wanted about his own time in that town, and left like a ghost. would that happen with henry too? would she bond with someone like him only to be left in the lurch again?
with a deep breath she spoke, her voice shaky now. )
This town, this town you visited...d-did it have have an amusement park? Lakeside Amusement park?
Yeah, it did... they said something horrible happened there a few years ago...
[ His voice is distant, thoughtful. He doesn't quite remember the full details of what happened just that it was "something terrible" and put a bit of a smear on the town. Henry's heard so many terrible stories about Silent Hill yet when he visited; he only felt a tranquil peace.
(No, that's not right. Something unsettling ate at him while he was there. He just forgot it. Why did he forget it?)
He blinks and shakes his head. ]
It's hard to think of it like that, though... it has a pretty scary past.
[ Like those murders. ]
... but ... a town is more than its past, I think... I don't know... it shouldn't cause others to think badly of it... because others did something...
[ But he falters and asks: ]
How did you know its name was Lakeside Amusement park?
( with her hands now numb and her breath shaky as ever, she stared down at her device as his words came through. his usual distant, dream-like speech pattern was a surprising comfort for her now because it gave her time to think. to analyze and figure out how to approach this. she had been told numerous times, the words nearly beaten into her skull—
'don't tell people about yourself', 'don't trust so easily'.
all words that rang in her mind like an intruder living in her mind, making her sick and influencing how she interacted and handled people here. she didn't want to let those words get to her, but they had an effect. henry though? he had been through some shit, no doubt a result of the otherworld and the cult seeping its way out that town. this truly was an opportunity to learn more and to figure out what the pattern was, why echo and aurora were bringing in people from her world.
so she decided to take a deep breath, stabilize herself and her mind before she finally spoke in a more commanding and firm tone. )
Henry, whoever told you to come talk to me was right. I'm the only person here who can understand what you've been through for you see...
[ Henry blinks - surprised that he isn't being told what he's talking about sounds insane. He often worried about how his sanity would be viewed as he talked about what happened yet he felt safe in this place.
It's multiple universes converging together. Everyone has witnessed something odd, but somehow no one seemed to have heard of what he's dealt with, and only looked at him with a sense of unease and concern. It wasn't belief that he could see in their eyes, but something else.
Still, still -- he thought that he could, at least, solve one problem. If he could figure out how to deal with the ghosts, maybe, that'd be enough.
Well, no; he knew better. It wouldn't solve anything.
The ghosts were a symptom of the problem; dealing with them would not be the cure. And he doesn't think that they want to hurt anyone.
It's a sensation that he gets when they reach into his chest to grab his heart. They're tenacious and violent in their actions, but he doesn't feel anything from them; he doesn't sense any malice or hatred. It's empty. It's air. Maybe that's just how ghosts are, but if these were truly their feelings, he'd like to think there would be more.
Maybe if he could get people to believe he's being haunted, that'd be enough; he'd at least attribute everything else to ghosts. But somehow, he's starting to feel guilty about that notion...
He shelfs the idea.
He focuses on what she said next.
She was born in Silent Hill. That place had been so beautiful and captivating (there was something wrong with the very air; he could feel it; staring at anything for too long left him feeling uneasy; he had to leave) that he put pictures up of his visit around his whole apartment. (The picture of the lake is over his bed; he felt that meant something; sinking deeper into something; it had felt tranquil and comforting. But--)
But-- ]
Then you know all the things that happened there?
[ Ah. ] Is ... is the orphanage related to the church? I... I don't know... I got that feeling... when I was in the town... and when I looked at the photo again... I felt they were connected...
[ Why did he frame those pictures? Why did he put them where he did? It felt like he had to do that; they were nice pictures, after all. ]
Henry....one thing at a time. Your words are all jumbled up.
( at least to her they were, after all she didn't have all the answers. heather only knew what she saw when she was alessa and what she encountered during her return to silent hill.
should she even tell him that technically she wasn't born there? that her past self was? although she couldn't hear all of his thoughts and emotions over voice there was something in her that told her she would have to tell him things about herself one at a time— that was if she even told him anything. the only two people who knew more about her other than vincent were maria and gorgug and that was the result of constant prying, and them revealing their own secrets.
still...wasn't henry doing that now? she decided to take it slow. )
What does the orphanage mean to you? And you're referring to the cult right? They're....they're a cult, they probably adopted children to recruit and groom into their beliefs.
( much like dahlia did to alessa, though she wasn't adopted. )
[ No matter how slowly he speaks; he tends to jump from one topic to another quickly. Sometimes, halfway through the sentence that he is speaking. ]
The orphanage... doesn't mean much. [ He has to remind himself to answer the question rather than extrapolate to another point. ] I went there. That is... I crawled through a hole in my apartment and woke up in a nearby area.
[ She can't see it, but he is gesturing with his hands as if that helps with his explanation. ]
But what you're saying is right. That's what I was told happened... they adopted the children and tried to warp them to their beliefs. [ He presses his lips together. That's answering the questions, he thinks. ]
( she made a soft 'huh' sound before she began to scratch at her head, the sounds of nails digging into her scalp being audible through the device. she wasn't exactly sure what to make of all of this, finding it a bit difficult to piece together his entire ordeal―
but the one thing that came into her mind was the door to his apartment. )
I'm starting to kinda understand what happened to you, although the who and why aren't there, but....did you rip the door from your apartment here because you of what happened back home? You said holes in your apartment...I'm just not quite getting the full picture here.
[ He crosses his arms before starting to walk around his apartment. His head tilts to the side as he starts to make half-loops around the furniture that is there and walk down the small hallway before heading back. ]
But yes... I took the door off to avoid that happening... [ Henry decides to answer that point. ] My apartment... the door suddenly was locked from the inside. With all these chains and bolts and padlocks. But they weren't normal. [ Shaking his head, he tries to explain: ] ... pulling on them, trying to rip them off the door, nothing worked...
... I tried to beat on the doors and walls and windows, but no one could hear me... I even overheard a story of someone looking into my apartment and they said everything looked normal... [ He breathes out frustrated that he doesn't understand anything that happened. Henry decides to table to discussion of the nightmares that he had, because he feels that muddles up what actually happened in reality. ]
Then a hole appeared in my bathroom wall... and it had an impossible length to it? Like I should have entered into my neighbor's apartment... but I just kept crawling through. [ Mm. ] But I'd black out as I was crawling and would wake up somewhere else.
now all of this truly made sense. if heather had been exposed to all of this without the murder of her father in play, she truly would have ended up much like henry. forced to wander around the otherworld in confusion, lost and disoriented.
only his situation sounded truly much more dire, being confined in his own home without any way out or anyone to help him, relying only instead on those 'holes' for contact with the outside world, only those worlds....were the otherworld. at least it seemed that way to heather who only had her own experiences and the town silent hill to compare to. )
It sounds like a portal if I'm being honest....but there are other people from Silent Hill here, or at least there was this one other guy who came and left. So far no signs of any of that happening here, but then again..
this world has its own weirdness, random at times. It makes more sense now, did you run into any of the cult members at all?
Someone said something about time distortion... like what they remember and experienced is different from other people... that's what I experienced.
[ Henry is patting his hands against his chest weakly. ] I had been locked in my apartment for only five days... but it might have been longer. [ He struggles to make sense of his own words. ] But right... one thing at a time...
[ As agitated as he gets, even if the speed of which he speaks or dream-quality of his words don't change, his words (as Heather has adequately put it) get jumbled. ]
Yes and no. [ How to explain? ] One of the people killed might have been a cult member... and I met Walter Sullivan but as a child. [ With a sigh, he adds: ] And also maybe as an adult. [ A beat. ] I know he's already dead. It was ... but I saw him. He talked to me. Both of them did.
[ Setting that aside. ] I didn't meet any other cultist there... but I met a weird guy here... he seems to know some stuff... but I don't know... he kept talking and I ... didn't say anything to anything he said after awhile ... until he gave me a look and left...
[ If he can't get out of a conversation by shuffling away, he just stops engaging with it until the person leaves. ]
( although their conversation is through audio, the intensity in which his words are spoken almost permeated through and she truly felt she was there. the little noises, the shuffling sounds, it was all painfully audible to heather and as she deciphered what he was trying to say, it seemed like he had been through quite a lot.
just not exactly the journey she had been through, but a lot of parts there that slowly started to make sense. as for the part where he saw that man as a child then as an adult, when she thought back on it, she saw herself at that amusement park.
truly anything was possible. )
This Walter guy....it sounds like he's responsible for all this in a way? Maybe? Does that sound right?
( maybe propelled by a cultist? something about an orphanage? was he an orphan? so many questions, but she didn't want to push henry away or stress him out. )
I found a note in the orphanage... it didn't make much sense... [ His head shakes. His words are jumbling, again; he, at least, is grateful for Heather for giving him that phrasing. It helps him figure out how to unjumble the mess he's saying. ]
Re... returning to the orphanage... it was in shambles and seemed to have been empty for awhile. But there was a note there... it mentioned Walter. Asking about how his progress was. And also mentioned an Alessa. [ A beat. ] But, in all the worlds I traveled, I never met anyone by that name... so I don't think that part matters. [ Whoever she is, he hopes she was able to stay out of their grasp. ]
There was also some pages about a ritual... I couldn't make any sense of it. [ However. ] So... he might be the one responsible... yeah...
( she's just trying her best here henry, to make sense of it all.
however she understood where he was coming from— not long ago she was in his shoes, feeling a wave of desperation, anxiety and annoyance over her own situation. it was only with time and coming to terms with things that she learned to just accept that some things were always going to be outside of her control no matter how hard she tried. with a soft sigh she leaned forward from where she was sitting, elbows resting upon her knees with her hands cradling her face. it was starting to seem that the town of silent hill, its essence transcended far beyond the scope of the city limits.
it went as far as it wanted, possibly even dragging in people who had nothing to do with it. then again, if what she knew about james was true—
she had to wonder what exactly henry did to attract this. )
Henry you know...you're making this really hard for me to keep this whole thing professional.
( because of course she had to be mentioned in all of this. )
I'm going to have to tell you about myself more now, because I know who Alessa is. Although her story might not have too much to do with your own given what you've told me so far.
[ As short and reflexive as the word is, there's sincerity wrapped around it. ]
You do? [ His eyes gloss around the ceiling in thought. He supposes that makes sense; she said she was born in Silent Hill. ] ... the note said they were looking for her. Was she able to get away? If... you know that, I mean.
[ Simply because Heather knows how someone is doesn't mean she will know the answer to his question. But he decides to share his hope with her. Just reading the notes in that prison, he wished something could have been done to save those children. ]
I hope you'll tell me she got away... and is living well somewhere... even if you don't know where... [ A beat. ] Ah... never mind what I just said...
[ If Alessa's story has an unhappy ending, it would be hard to tell. And it'd be even harder to tell knowing the listener is hoping for a happy conclusion. While he intended to share a hope with her, he realizes how selfish it is. ]
( that's all she can say in turn as she gathered her own thoughts and held back her own tears at his kind words. for as scattered and dream-like as his words and movements could be, somewhere between the haze of his personality was a good person underneath it. it wasn't hard for heather to really see that―
during their first interaction he offered to look out for her of his own volition. she didn't understand it at the time but now she did. so it wasn't difficult for her to want to open up to him, even if the voices in her head screamed and told her not to.
how could she not? he was one of the few here who could possibly come to understand her, even if he did end up leaving like james had. )
That girl suffered a lot Henry, a lot of torment and abuse from her mother and schoolmates, but I want you to know despite the many things that cult did for her, there was another man much like you, kind, who came into Silent Hill and saved her.
Not in the traditional sense, but that girl is here in Etraya. Her name now is Heather Mason.
[ Henry makes a soft noise at the compliment; it's more acknowledgement than agreement. Chewing the inside of his cheek, he keeps himself from saying anything unnecessary or derailing.
He can't stop the pained sigh he breathes out at hearing Alessa suffered. Sure, he doesn't know her, but does a person need to know someone to be upset they endured hardship? A cold feeling settles on his shoulders before she gets to the part where she was saved.
His eyes widen hearing that she's in Etraya. He straightens his back and looks around the room, like she may manifest, but more accurately, he thinks he'll go out to meet and make sure she's okay. But it seems - he already did. ]
... you're Alessa? [ Said more like a question than anything else. He squints, eyes roaming the ceiling, as he does some quick math in his head. But he gives up on logic. He met the child version of Walter Sullivan, after all. ]
I'm ... I'm glad you're all right. [ And she's doing so much for others. She spoke earlier about becoming friends, finding connections, and other things that sounded like good advice but Henry wasn't sure how to start on any of those tasks. ] What you're doing now... offering to look after and help people...
[ A pause as he sorts out what to say. ] ... it's ... [ His eyebrows come together. ] ... great. [ That's not quite it. ]
I... [ No, that's not it, either. And he starts again: ]
... you're proud of what you've accomplished... right?
( on the other end of the line, all that could be heard was soft rustling sounds— it was from her hands lifting up and rubbing against her eyes, pushing away any remnants of tears that remained. she swore at the time when the memories first came flooding in that she could handle it, that when that voice took over, it was her and only her. yet the memories played like a movie in her mind, and it was only later now that the emotions, pains, and fears she felt before came flooding in like an intruder. it was almost comedic in a way, when things were finally okay [even if the looming threat of god wrecking her world was hanging above], it was when the pain wanted to come back and remind her of what she went through.
she didn't want to dump all of this on henry, but he had asked and seen fragments of who she was. he knew about silent hill and they could understand each other. )
It's a complicated story, I'd have to tell you all of it in person one day but I reincarnated from both Alessa and a part of my soul I split off long ago. I have all of my memories from back then, but....
Yeah I guess I'm just doing the best that I can to live you know? To be free of all of that and the cult but it seems like even if I'm here, their reach still got as far as...well to your apartment. I'm guessing Walter was just another one of their unfortunate 'disciples'.
( whatever that meant— as for his next question, she hummed a bit, sadness still threatening to make tears pour down her face. )
I don't know Henry....I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm trying to just live a normal life here and help others because I had no one to help me back in those days. Maybe I'm just being a selfish idiot in trying to do this but....I hope I've been able to help you. Even if I did derail things.
[ Just hearing that much, he agrees that it sounds complicated. He still isn't sure he fully understands what is (was?) going on with Walter.
Did he also split a part of his soul? Is that why there are two of them? But why?
He hears the sound of rustling and wonders what it is. Eventually, he decides she must be feeling restless, too. This sort of talk is the kind that gets under the skin. Someone told him that he needed to pull himself together; he wasn't sure how. But everyone is going through something.
Henry understands that hearing Heather's voice and words. ]
I don't think you're selfish. [ He tries to sound firm. ] You're helping others, too. People need someone to talk to, and you're listening. [ A frustrated yet thoughtful sigh. ] Everyone's ... their burdens aren't just... you're trying to do good.
[ He struggles with putting his thoughts together and tries again. ]
No one was there... and now you're here for others... isn't that worth something?
( it was in moments like these that heather's age truly showed or rather her own insecurity caused by the way she grew up came through. she wanted to do right by others, provide a service that could help people feel connected here and yet despite her resolve and head-strong attitude about it all; she was insecure sometimes. she wondered if she would be good enough to do this or if this was all self-indulgent for her, a vehicle for her to heal her own trauma.
yet in henry's words, regardless of what brought them to this point, she felt a sense of security. he was right, people needed someone they could turn to and while she couldn't give advice or the answers people needed, sometimes most people just wanted to vent.
was it a bit different with henry given his unique circumstance and their shared experiences? perhaps but she would still try. )
You're right, and you have a lot for me to listen to. I'm actually....I know this is weird but Henry? I'm a little bit happy we can at least share this together. You know not everyone understands the things we've seen or been through because of that town, or maybe they view it as something we deserve...
but I'd like for you to tell me more if you can? What happened with this Walter guy in the end?
cw: vague mention child abuse, suicide... why are the silent hills like this?
He feels comfort in being able to tell someone what happened and having them understand. Not that he understands all the ins and outs of what occurred. ]
You didn't deserve what happened.
[ That is one point that he wants to make. She didn't deserve to be treated so horrifically by her mother and that cult. No child could do anything to deserve such abuse.
However, for himself, he'd like to think he deserved what happened. It's better than thinking he did nothing and was targeted, if he was honest. Does it ease his anger and frustration? No - but it at least gives him a small sense of control when so much of that has been taken from him.
He pauses and thinks Heather might want that for herself, too. But his point remains the same - a kid shouldn't feel like they did anything to be treated poorly by those that should be protecting them. ]
Sure. [ There's an anger inside him for her, too. But there isn't anyone he can direct that upon. ] That's... so... [ He pauses. ] Walter became a serial killer when he grew up. But he was captured and killed himself in prison. Supposedly.
But then this all happened... and I saw his child self... and his adult self. I don't know what happened to either of them after that, unfortunately. [ Even if she can't see it, he shakes his head helplessly. ] I crawled through a hole I created in my apartment... and woke up in Etraya.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Anyway. ]
Okay. [ Um. ] I couldn't leave my apartment for days... and it was locked from the inside... I think the space became part of another reality. And holes appeared in the walls... that led to other worlds... connected to whoever was dreaming those words... I think... but they weren't in control of it...
It was all part of a ritual... I think...
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as he spoke, she remained silent listening to the recording and wondering what to make of all this. she was sure he had seen something strange in his world, something that made him want to rip the door out—
but then he said that word. ritual. )
Ritual?
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[ She sounds more curious than disbelieving, at least. He wonders how it sounds; he isn't sure how it sounds to another person. As insane as it all is, it's what he knows. It's why he didn't bring it up to anyone he met in the other worlds.
But maybe he should have -- he thought he should have; he decided if Eileen survived he would try to explain everything to her; maybe, that'd ensure her safety. But --
-- he shakes his head. ]
It was part of a cult... in an orphanage... just outside of Silent Hill... [ Um. ] I only found a few pages... no, they were given to me... by someone already dead...? I think he was trying to help me... but ...
[ Okay, now he's hearing it. ] ... sorry, this all sounds... yeah...
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even though he truly was intending to just state what was bothering his heart, his mind— it struck far too close to home, far to close to who she was and where she had come from.
when finally apologized, the words were a final beat that snapped her back to reality.
aurora had a sick sense of humor it seemed. )
Henry…..have you been to Silent Hill yourself?
( she will address the rest of his words and thoughts shortly but for now the only things henry could hear was her swallowing and clearing her throat just a bit. )
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Someone told him that would be isolating; he feels like it is. As isolating as it was in that room, but he's surrounded by people now. Is that worse? He isn't sure...
... he hears her swallowing and clearing her throat; he makes a soft noise in response, at first. It's a sound of apology; he worries if he says he isn't crazy it'll sound like he is. ]
Yeah... I went there... it was a beautiful resort town. I still remember it fondly. [ Ah. That's not quite right. He stumbles over his words more but presses on. ] The sun was shining and it was a lovely day... I'm told that very few people can visit the town and experience the weather I did... I must have been lucky.
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( even though the room she was in wasn't cold, she couldn't help but let out a deep and shaky breath as her body began to tremble. in hindsight it shouldn't be a surprise that the town and cult were known to others but the extent of everyone's connection to it here had been different and unique.
vincent was a member of the cult, maria was dreamt up by james in that town, and james had been drawn to it through the mystic powers that drew from her own nightmares during a time when she was alessa.
all of this was too much, far too nerve-wrecking and she wanted to yell out 'henry...I'm so cold' but she couldn't. no...all she could do was think about how someone like james had been brought here, spilled what little he wanted about his own time in that town, and left like a ghost. would that happen with henry too? would she bond with someone like him only to be left in the lurch again?
with a deep breath she spoke, her voice shaky now. )
This town, this town you visited...d-did it have have an amusement park? Lakeside Amusement park?
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[ His voice is distant, thoughtful. He doesn't quite remember the full details of what happened just that it was "something terrible" and put a bit of a smear on the town. Henry's heard so many terrible stories about Silent Hill yet when he visited; he only felt a tranquil peace.
(No, that's not right. Something unsettling ate at him while he was there. He just forgot it. Why did he forget it?)
He blinks and shakes his head. ]
It's hard to think of it like that, though... it has a pretty scary past.
[ Like those murders. ]
... but ... a town is more than its past, I think... I don't know... it shouldn't cause others to think badly of it... because others did something...
[ But he falters and asks: ]
How did you know its name was Lakeside Amusement park?
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'don't tell people about yourself', 'don't trust so easily'.
all words that rang in her mind like an intruder living in her mind, making her sick and influencing how she interacted and handled people here. she didn't want to let those words get to her, but they had an effect. henry though? he had been through some shit, no doubt a result of the otherworld and the cult seeping its way out that town. this truly was an opportunity to learn more and to figure out what the pattern was, why echo and aurora were bringing in people from her world.
so she decided to take a deep breath, stabilize herself and her mind before she finally spoke in a more commanding and firm tone. )
Henry, whoever told you to come talk to me was right. I'm the only person here who can understand what you've been through for you see...
I was born in Silent Hill many years ago.
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[ Henry blinks - surprised that he isn't being told what he's talking about sounds insane. He often worried about how his sanity would be viewed as he talked about what happened yet he felt safe in this place.
It's multiple universes converging together. Everyone has witnessed something odd, but somehow no one seemed to have heard of what he's dealt with, and only looked at him with a sense of unease and concern. It wasn't belief that he could see in their eyes, but something else.
Still, still -- he thought that he could, at least, solve one problem. If he could figure out how to deal with the ghosts, maybe, that'd be enough.
Well, no; he knew better. It wouldn't solve anything.
The ghosts were a symptom of the problem; dealing with them would not be the cure. And he doesn't think that they want to hurt anyone.
It's a sensation that he gets when they reach into his chest to grab his heart. They're tenacious and violent in their actions, but he doesn't feel anything from them; he doesn't sense any malice or hatred. It's empty. It's air. Maybe that's just how ghosts are, but if these were truly their feelings, he'd like to think there would be more.
Maybe if he could get people to believe he's being haunted, that'd be enough; he'd at least attribute everything else to ghosts. But somehow, he's starting to feel guilty about that notion...
He shelfs the idea.
He focuses on what she said next.
She was born in Silent Hill. That place had been so beautiful and captivating (there was something wrong with the very air; he could feel it; staring at anything for too long left him feeling uneasy; he had to leave) that he put pictures up of his visit around his whole apartment. (The picture of the lake is over his bed; he felt that meant something; sinking deeper into something; it had felt tranquil and comforting. But--)
But-- ]
Then you know all the things that happened there?
[ Ah. ] Is ... is the orphanage related to the church? I... I don't know... I got that feeling... when I was in the town... and when I looked at the photo again... I felt they were connected...
[ Why did he frame those pictures? Why did he put them where he did? It felt like he had to do that; they were nice pictures, after all. ]
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( at least to her they were, after all she didn't have all the answers. heather only knew what she saw when she was alessa and what she encountered during her return to silent hill.
should she even tell him that technically she wasn't born there? that her past self was? although she couldn't hear all of his thoughts and emotions over voice there was something in her that told her she would have to tell him things about herself one at a time— that was if she even told him anything. the only two people who knew more about her other than vincent were maria and gorgug and that was the result of constant prying, and them revealing their own secrets.
still...wasn't henry doing that now? she decided to take it slow. )
What does the orphanage mean to you? And you're referring to the cult right? They're....they're a cult, they probably adopted children to recruit and groom into their beliefs.
( much like dahlia did to alessa, though she wasn't adopted. )
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[ No matter how slowly he speaks; he tends to jump from one topic to another quickly. Sometimes, halfway through the sentence that he is speaking. ]
The orphanage... doesn't mean much. [ He has to remind himself to answer the question rather than extrapolate to another point. ] I went there. That is... I crawled through a hole in my apartment and woke up in a nearby area.
[ She can't see it, but he is gesturing with his hands as if that helps with his explanation. ]
But what you're saying is right. That's what I was told happened... they adopted the children and tried to warp them to their beliefs. [ He presses his lips together. That's answering the questions, he thinks. ]
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( she made a soft 'huh' sound before she began to scratch at her head, the sounds of nails digging into her scalp being audible through the device. she wasn't exactly sure what to make of all of this, finding it a bit difficult to piece together his entire ordeal―
but the one thing that came into her mind was the door to his apartment. )
I'm starting to kinda understand what happened to you, although the who and why aren't there, but....did you rip the door from your apartment here because you of what happened back home? You said holes in your apartment...I'm just not quite getting the full picture here.
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[ He crosses his arms before starting to walk around his apartment. His head tilts to the side as he starts to make half-loops around the furniture that is there and walk down the small hallway before heading back. ]
But yes... I took the door off to avoid that happening... [ Henry decides to answer that point. ] My apartment... the door suddenly was locked from the inside. With all these chains and bolts and padlocks. But they weren't normal. [ Shaking his head, he tries to explain: ] ... pulling on them, trying to rip them off the door, nothing worked...
... I tried to beat on the doors and walls and windows, but no one could hear me... I even overheard a story of someone looking into my apartment and they said everything looked normal... [ He breathes out frustrated that he doesn't understand anything that happened. Henry decides to table to discussion of the nightmares that he had, because he feels that muddles up what actually happened in reality. ]
Then a hole appeared in my bathroom wall... and it had an impossible length to it? Like I should have entered into my neighbor's apartment... but I just kept crawling through. [ Mm. ] But I'd black out as I was crawling and would wake up somewhere else.
[ So. ] Does... does that help?
cw: death mention
now all of this truly made sense. if heather had been exposed to all of this without the murder of her father in play, she truly would have ended up much like henry. forced to wander around the otherworld in confusion, lost and disoriented.
only his situation sounded truly much more dire, being confined in his own home without any way out or anyone to help him, relying only instead on those 'holes' for contact with the outside world, only those worlds....were the otherworld. at least it seemed that way to heather who only had her own experiences and the town silent hill to compare to. )
It sounds like a portal if I'm being honest....but there are other people from Silent Hill here, or at least there was this one other guy who came and left. So far no signs of any of that happening here, but then again..
this world has its own weirdness, random at times. It makes more sense now, did you run into any of the cult members at all?
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[ Henry is patting his hands against his chest weakly. ] I had been locked in my apartment for only five days... but it might have been longer. [ He struggles to make sense of his own words. ] But right... one thing at a time...
[ As agitated as he gets, even if the speed of which he speaks or dream-quality of his words don't change, his words (as Heather has adequately put it) get jumbled. ]
Yes and no. [ How to explain? ] One of the people killed might have been a cult member... and I met Walter Sullivan but as a child. [ With a sigh, he adds: ] And also maybe as an adult. [ A beat. ] I know he's already dead. It was ... but I saw him. He talked to me. Both of them did.
[ Setting that aside. ] I didn't meet any other cultist there... but I met a weird guy here... he seems to know some stuff... but I don't know... he kept talking and I ... didn't say anything to anything he said after awhile ... until he gave me a look and left...
[ If he can't get out of a conversation by shuffling away, he just stops engaging with it until the person leaves. ]
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just not exactly the journey she had been through, but a lot of parts there that slowly started to make sense. as for the part where he saw that man as a child then as an adult, when she thought back on it, she saw herself at that amusement park.
truly anything was possible. )
This Walter guy....it sounds like he's responsible for all this in a way? Maybe? Does that sound right?
( maybe propelled by a cultist? something about an orphanage? was he an orphan? so many questions, but she didn't want to push henry away or stress him out. )
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[ This Walter guy? ]
I found a note in the orphanage... it didn't make much sense... [ His head shakes. His words are jumbling, again; he, at least, is grateful for Heather for giving him that phrasing. It helps him figure out how to unjumble the mess he's saying. ]
Re... returning to the orphanage... it was in shambles and seemed to have been empty for awhile. But there was a note there... it mentioned Walter. Asking about how his progress was. And also mentioned an Alessa. [ A beat. ] But, in all the worlds I traveled, I never met anyone by that name... so I don't think that part matters. [ Whoever she is, he hopes she was able to stay out of their grasp. ]
There was also some pages about a ritual... I couldn't make any sense of it. [ However. ] So... he might be the one responsible... yeah...
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however she understood where he was coming from— not long ago she was in his shoes, feeling a wave of desperation, anxiety and annoyance over her own situation. it was only with time and coming to terms with things that she learned to just accept that some things were always going to be outside of her control no matter how hard she tried. with a soft sigh she leaned forward from where she was sitting, elbows resting upon her knees with her hands cradling her face. it was starting to seem that the town of silent hill, its essence transcended far beyond the scope of the city limits.
it went as far as it wanted, possibly even dragging in people who had nothing to do with it. then again, if what she knew about james was true—
she had to wonder what exactly henry did to attract this. )
Henry you know...you're making this really hard for me to keep this whole thing professional.
( because of course she had to be mentioned in all of this. )
I'm going to have to tell you about myself more now, because I know who Alessa is. Although her story might not have too much to do with your own given what you've told me so far.
cw: child death and abuse (vague mentioning)
[ As short and reflexive as the word is, there's sincerity wrapped around it. ]
You do? [ His eyes gloss around the ceiling in thought. He supposes that makes sense; she said she was born in Silent Hill. ] ... the note said they were looking for her. Was she able to get away? If... you know that, I mean.
[ Simply because Heather knows how someone is doesn't mean she will know the answer to his question. But he decides to share his hope with her. Just reading the notes in that prison, he wished something could have been done to save those children. ]
I hope you'll tell me she got away... and is living well somewhere... even if you don't know where... [ A beat. ] Ah... never mind what I just said...
[ If Alessa's story has an unhappy ending, it would be hard to tell. And it'd be even harder to tell knowing the listener is hoping for a happy conclusion. While he intended to share a hope with her, he realizes how selfish it is. ]
cw: child abuse mentions
( that's all she can say in turn as she gathered her own thoughts and held back her own tears at his kind words. for as scattered and dream-like as his words and movements could be, somewhere between the haze of his personality was a good person underneath it. it wasn't hard for heather to really see that―
during their first interaction he offered to look out for her of his own volition. she didn't understand it at the time but now she did. so it wasn't difficult for her to want to open up to him, even if the voices in her head screamed and told her not to.
how could she not? he was one of the few here who could possibly come to understand her, even if he did end up leaving like james had. )
That girl suffered a lot Henry, a lot of torment and abuse from her mother and schoolmates, but I want you to know despite the many things that cult did for her, there was another man much like you, kind, who came into Silent Hill and saved her.
Not in the traditional sense, but that girl is here in Etraya. Her name now is Heather Mason.
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He can't stop the pained sigh he breathes out at hearing Alessa suffered. Sure, he doesn't know her, but does a person need to know someone to be upset they endured hardship? A cold feeling settles on his shoulders before she gets to the part where she was saved.
His eyes widen hearing that she's in Etraya. He straightens his back and looks around the room, like she may manifest, but more accurately, he thinks he'll go out to meet and make sure she's okay. But it seems - he already did. ]
... you're Alessa? [ Said more like a question than anything else. He squints, eyes roaming the ceiling, as he does some quick math in his head. But he gives up on logic. He met the child version of Walter Sullivan, after all. ]
I'm ... I'm glad you're all right. [ And she's doing so much for others. She spoke earlier about becoming friends, finding connections, and other things that sounded like good advice but Henry wasn't sure how to start on any of those tasks. ] What you're doing now... offering to look after and help people...
[ A pause as he sorts out what to say. ] ... it's ... [ His eyebrows come together. ] ... great. [ That's not quite it. ]
I... [ No, that's not it, either. And he starts again: ]
... you're proud of what you've accomplished... right?
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she didn't want to dump all of this on henry, but he had asked and seen fragments of who she was. he knew about silent hill and they could understand each other. )
It's a complicated story, I'd have to tell you all of it in person one day but I reincarnated from both Alessa and a part of my soul I split off long ago. I have all of my memories from back then, but....
Yeah I guess I'm just doing the best that I can to live you know? To be free of all of that and the cult but it seems like even if I'm here, their reach still got as far as...well to your apartment. I'm guessing Walter was just another one of their unfortunate 'disciples'.
( whatever that meant— as for his next question, she hummed a bit, sadness still threatening to make tears pour down her face. )
I don't know Henry....I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm trying to just live a normal life here and help others because I had no one to help me back in those days. Maybe I'm just being a selfish idiot in trying to do this but....I hope I've been able to help you. Even if I did derail things.
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Did he also split a part of his soul? Is that why there are two of them? But why?
He hears the sound of rustling and wonders what it is. Eventually, he decides she must be feeling restless, too. This sort of talk is the kind that gets under the skin. Someone told him that he needed to pull himself together; he wasn't sure how. But everyone is going through something.
Henry understands that hearing Heather's voice and words. ]
I don't think you're selfish. [ He tries to sound firm. ] You're helping others, too. People need someone to talk to, and you're listening. [ A frustrated yet thoughtful sigh. ] Everyone's ... their burdens aren't just... you're trying to do good.
[ He struggles with putting his thoughts together and tries again. ]
No one was there... and now you're here for others... isn't that worth something?
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yet in henry's words, regardless of what brought them to this point, she felt a sense of security. he was right, people needed someone they could turn to and while she couldn't give advice or the answers people needed, sometimes most people just wanted to vent.
was it a bit different with henry given his unique circumstance and their shared experiences? perhaps but she would still try. )
You're right, and you have a lot for me to listen to. I'm actually....I know this is weird but Henry? I'm a little bit happy we can at least share this together. You know not everyone understands the things we've seen or been through because of that town, or maybe they view it as something we deserve...
but I'd like for you to tell me more if you can? What happened with this Walter guy in the end?
cw: vague mention child abuse, suicide... why are the silent hills like this?
He feels comfort in being able to tell someone what happened and having them understand. Not that he understands all the ins and outs of what occurred. ]
You didn't deserve what happened.
[ That is one point that he wants to make. She didn't deserve to be treated so horrifically by her mother and that cult. No child could do anything to deserve such abuse.
However, for himself, he'd like to think he deserved what happened. It's better than thinking he did nothing and was targeted, if he was honest. Does it ease his anger and frustration? No - but it at least gives him a small sense of control when so much of that has been taken from him.
He pauses and thinks Heather might want that for herself, too. But his point remains the same - a kid shouldn't feel like they did anything to be treated poorly by those that should be protecting them. ]
Sure. [ There's an anger inside him for her, too. But there isn't anyone he can direct that upon. ] That's... so... [ He pauses. ] Walter became a serial killer when he grew up. But he was captured and killed himself in prison. Supposedly.
But then this all happened... and I saw his child self... and his adult self. I don't know what happened to either of them after that, unfortunately. [ Even if she can't see it, he shakes his head helplessly. ] I crawled through a hole I created in my apartment... and woke up in Etraya.
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— action
(now giving you the same icons in two different threads)
wonderful haha ♡
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ending this here ♥